Self-actualization is realizing one’s creative, intellectual, and social potential through inner work. It is about reaching your fullest human potential, Maslow, in 1943. This blog aims to help you learn about self-actualization and ways to find fulfillment in your life.
What does this mean? We are always in a constant battle to find our authentic selves. The influence of parents, grandparents, peers, teachers, and societal norms can be overwhelming.Who do all these people want you to be? Society often pressures the young into conforming to an ideal person, a mold that may not fit us. We are always in a state of seeking our authentic selves and redefining our identity. Whether we buy into what others expect us to be or find ourselves on our own path is crucial in this journey.
We get lost in the pursuits and expectations of those close to us, culture, and society. Making finding yourself more complex. The truth is that it takes many years to figure out who you are and define your identity. Not that you are not who you are now, but it takes time to truly know yourself. Some people never reach this level. According to Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, you have reached self-actualization when you have reached the point of you.
Self-actualization is the complete realization of one’s potential, the full development of one’s abilities, and appreciation for life. So, we reach this state every so often, but it is hard to stay there. We ebb and flow in and out of enlightenment. Life is often an arduous journey, and we are blind as to what is around the next corner. We do our best, cope with whatever happens, and try to find happiness and comfort in the space we occupy.
So, Life is Messy! However, taking responsibility, living intentionally, and making decisions for well-being is part of the process that can lead us to self-actualization.
The COVID pandemic was one of those humdingers waiting around the corner for everyone worldwide. A real surprise. Some found depression and loneliness. Others sheltered in bubbles to help each other. And yet others lived their lives as if nothing had changed. It shows there is no one way to deal with life and its unexpected twists and turns. The pandemic has left many visible marks on our society worldwide. Yet here we are. Life will never be perfect, but we need to let go of the things we cannot control and focus on what we can control.
Finding Linda – My story
In the midst of the pandemic, I embarked on a journey. The massive amount of extra time and isolation was to move internally to continue my journey to self-actualization. I found my sweet spot, and what surprised me the most was that I ended up back at my 16-year-old self. Through a tremendous amount of self-searching, I have discovered that my inner child, the 16-year-old girl, was who I really am. Every passion and desire for my life was already in my life and personality.
Society pushed me to become someone else. To get educated, get married, get a job, blah, blah, blah. At 16, I was a free soul, an artist, and a writer by nature. I loved the earth, plants, animals, color, music, and people. For so many years, I moved in the exact opposite direction from who I was. Conformed to society.
It was not an awful life; I have had a glorious life. But much of that life was not the authentic me. After living through six decades, I have found myself, my authentic self, by returning to art, music, writing, thinking, seeking creativity, and absorbing knowledge. I have always been a reader, a researcher, and an analyst; knowledge has always been a goal.
So, who did I find on my long journey to self? Ironically, it was me at 16. I already knew who I was, an artist, a writer, and a creative. I was curious and seeking knowledge, not to make money, but to learn. I loved philosophy. That thirst for learning followed me throughout life. The journey has given me many tools for living, connecting socially, and growing academically and intellectually. I am an extrovert who seeks connection, collaboration, depth, and a good dose of reality.
If one word described me, it would be an expression. Expression on a soapbox, in communication with others, in writing, or on a blank canvas. I love adventure, new people, new places. I love complex concepts and ideas. I loved art, music, and dance, as a young woman and more intensely now. I have learned a deeper appreciation of the arts. A deeper appreciation of my connections with family and friends. Today, I know that the most important things in my life are things I cannot see or touch. What matters most is having close social connections; people matter the most. This is the joy of self-actualization, the discovery of your true self, and the fulfillment it brings.
I know who I am today and who I want to be tomorrow. I have taken responsibility for my well-being and happiness, making no excuses, and I have a plan of action. This is what I want for each of you. Understanding, life satisfaction, and intentionally making decisions that align with your goals in life. Am I fully self-actualized? No, because self-actualization is a continuous process, a journey of seeking clarity and knowledge to build your toolbox for reaching actualization. Continuous improvement incrementally and personal growth is the answer. So, be patient with yourself, embrace the journey, and trust that you are on the right path.
How I found myself
Introspection is looking inward to find yourself. To help you know your identity.
Insight
Meditation
Self-reflection and exploration
Journaling and writing
Exercise and movement
Cleansing the body of garbage (bad foods), and finally eating a balanced, healthy diet.
Cleansing the soul of toxic people. One beneficial side effect of the pandemic has been time away from others and gaining perspective on relationships. In past years, as I went through surgery after surgery, the fake friends fell away; the genuine friends were with me for the entire ride. We go through life with many misperceptions. One of those misperceptions is your relationships with others. Look closely. Not all relationships are healthy.
Writing assignment
Write your story. Writing will help you sort through your thoughts and gain perspective. Who are you today? Who do you want to be tomorrow?
How to self-actualize
Cultivate an openness to experience and creativity. Change your perspective and look at the issues in a different light. Be open to what others say. Embrace uncertainty and view it as an adventure.
Reflect on your values, ethics, and morals. When reaching for the best version of yourself, aligning your actions with your values and ethics is crucial. Ask yourself, is my life aligned with my goals, values, and ethics? Know yourself!
Self-actualization is about becoming your authentic and fulfilled self, defined by your standards. There is no lesson on how to become you; you are the expert. We are always a work in progress, working toward our genuine selves.
Personal growth is a vehicle for reaching self-actualization.
Meaning having a mission or calling; a sense of direction. A desire to improve situations, create something that makes the world better, and reward and praise others. What is giving your life meaning and purpose?
Optimal experiences are achieved by living life to the fullest and maximizing all aspects of your life. This is where well-being and intentional living come into the picture. Living life fully involves embracing experiences, finding meaning, and flourishing.
Make time for what brings you joy or follow your passions. Do things you love, such as art, sports, and being with family and friends. When we truly find ourselves, then we have actualized. Finding our passions becomes a part of our story.
Practicing kindness and doing good for others has many rewards. Being kind fosters positive connections with others. Helping others reinforces a sense of purpose and worth. It can reduce stress by releasing oxytocin (the love hormone). Start with small acts of kindness, such as holding a door open, smiling, and saying thank you. Acts of kindness affect our emotional well-being, promote empathy, and strengthen our relationships with others.
10 ways to become your best self, by Elizabeth Perry, ACC
Conclusion
Living life fully means balancing your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Take responsibility for your choices and live your life intentionally. Making decisions that are healthy and productive. Living fully is about embracing life, prioritizing health, and finding delight in your experiences. It means immersing yourself in everyday experiences that give you satisfaction. It is not something at the end of the rainbow but something you work toward. Through introspection, we seek clarity, self-discovery, and focus on what truly matters.
In reaching for self-actualization, you want to reflect on your strengths, weaknesses, passions, and values. Understand what matters most; this is where you want to put your time and energy. Set clear goals that align with your authentic self; who do you want to be tomorrow? What inspires you? What is your mission, vision, and purpose for tomorrow? An openness to new experiences cultivates growth. Connect with others in meaningful ways and surround yourself with positive people.
Know yourself! Seek life satisfaction, happiness, and joy. Self-actualization is not about reaching a goal, but about reaching and sharing your best self. Align your actions and values to live authentically and be your genuine self.
Recommended Reading
Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
Man’s Search for Meaning, by Viktor E. Frankl
Citations
Photo by Felicia Buitenwerf on Unsplash
Photo by Adrian Dascal on Unsplash
Photo by David Vilches on Unsplash
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