The phrase “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade” means you should try to make the best out of a difficult or unpleasant situation. It’s about turning challenges or setbacks into opportunities for personal growth and a positive mindset. I typically write from a positive mindset, and many of my essays may seem very upbeat. Yet I have lived my life in bouts between doctor and hospital visits. It has been a learning experience to live well, through the pain of chronic illness. This essay is not as upbeat because we all need to keep our feet grounded in reality to make our self-growth journey.
Life does not always go as planned. It is not filled with sunny days of running through fields of flowers. Dark days that knock the breath out of us, knock us off our feet. Everyone has these setbacks in life; it could be you or a loved one. These unexpected hits could be the death of a loved one, a long-term illness, or a sudden accident. Babies are born with complications, young children get cancer, and teens can have significant medical issues that did not show up as a child. These events and illnesses can hit with no warning.
Chronic conditions are an ongoing long-term illness. It may come with age or through an accident. It can cause physical limitations or disabilities. Some illnesses affecting us today are diabetes, heart disease, arthritis, and lung disease. Diseases that often lead to pain, fatigue, and physical limitations. Living with chronic illness or being a caregiver takes a toll on mental health. These challenges and setbacks in life can affect your social engagements and relationships, causing loneliness and a feeling of being disconnected.
One of the complex parts of life is that we are still determining what will happen next. The COVID pandemic was one of those shockers that kept going and going. We did not see it coming and could not have predicted the magnitude or how it would affect our lives. However, it showed that we each have the power to build resilience, to help us weather the bad times, and to come out stronger on the other side.
Finding quality amidst life’s challenges
Acknowledging and accepting your feelings is essential. Those feelings could be grief, sadness, anger, or fear. But remember, self-care is a crucial part of the healing process, and it is important to prioritize your well-being.
My Story: I believe I had every range of emotions humanly possible. I cried, expressed rage, grieved for the loss of my health, and felt sad and angry. Going from being a highly physically active young woman to losing that ability was devastating. Dealing with the physical and emotional pain of many surgeries and recovery periods. Let those emotions out. Keeping them bottled up is not healthy.
Reach out to others, such as friends, family, neighbors, or a support group. Share your emotions with others who can provide comfort or understanding. Do not be afraid to ask for help.
My Story: I learned to ask people for what I needed. They showed up but were unsure what I needed, so they brought food. When you are ill, food is often the last thing you want. What I needed was companionship and someone to talk to, as long-term illnesses can isolate you from the life you had before. I learned to tell people I want to talk today or I do not feel well enough. Let them know what you need.
Seek the meaning and purpose of your life. This is critical during times of setbacks and challenges. Engaging in activities that matter to you can bring joy. These activities could be volunteering, reading, or spending time with family.
When the challenges are terrible it is hard to see the bigger picture. There are times when the struggle and the pain are by the minute, and that is what you focus on, just getting through the next minute or two. At some point, there has to be more, and you are the one who must find meaning and activities to get you through the hard times. Changing your focus to distract you from your situation can help, listen to music, or read a good book.
My Story: I call these bad times the dark days. Having enough energy just to breathe is sometimes more than you can bear. Yet, in the moments you can focus, find activities you can engage in, mine was art and music. It will help change your focus from how you feel to what you are doing. Distraction is a technique I use every day to keep my focus off the chronic pain to what I can accomplish with this day.
Care for your well-being, eating a proper diet, incorporating movement into your life, even if it is taking a short walk in your house, and getting enough sleep are the foundations of your health. Caring for your mental health is extremely critical when you are down. Find things that make you happy, or watch a happy movie. It is important to embrace the small joys each day.
Rituals and routines can help you manage the days. Giving you some control over the chaos in your life. These can provide a sense of peace, knowing what comes next. They can provide comfort. We all have these routines, but they can become a comfort when you are down.
Focus on what you can control; these are the only things that matter. We cannot prevent death, accidents, or illness. Things go wrong in life that we have no control over. However, look at what you can control. You can develop routines or set up time to engage with friends.
Navigating the Uncontrollable – A Guide to Qualify of Life, by Linda L. Pilcher
There is financial stress and anxiety that comes with chronic illnesses. Managing a chronic illness often means large medical expenses, hospitals, emergency rooms, medication, treatments, and doctor visits. This is beyond your control while ill or dealing with medical emergencies. I do not have any great advice other than to not worry because when you need to go to the hospital, there is no other choice. You will get through it.
Famous people who overcame significant obstacles
These people rose above their disabilities and found meaning and purpose. They were able to engage and contribute to life. The strength to fight comes from within, but having a support system is also vital to your success.
“Those who have a why to live can bear almost any how.”
– Victor Frankl
Michael J. Fox’s Parkinson’s disease was diagnosed in 1991; he continued as an actor and founded the Michael J. Fox Foundation to help find a cure.
Helen Keller became an influential author, political activist, and lecturer despite being deaf and blind from a young age.
Stephen Hawkins was a renowned theoretical physicist and cosmologist who significant contributions to our understanding of the universe. He was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) at the age of 21.
Franklin D. Roosevelt was struck by polio, which finally left him paralyzed from the waist down. This did not stop him from becoming the leader of the free world.
Ludwig van Beethoven was a German composer and pianist widely regarded as the greatest composer in the history of Western music. Despite becoming almost completely deaf by age of 45, he continued to compose, conduct, and perform. His later works are noted for their complexity and emotional power.
Frida Kahlo created some of the most iconic and influential artworks of the 20th century. As a child, she suffered from polio and later endured a severe bus accident that left her with lifelong pain and medical issues.
Conclusion
When life sucks. You have two choices when you wake up in the morning. Get up and live life to the fullest despite your challenges and setbacks. Or stay in bed and mourn your lost life. People all around you suffer from physical problems or other life altering events that you may never know about. People with disabilities are living full lives and some change the world. You can change your perspective to focus on what you can do.
“The measure of who we are is what we do with what we have.”
– Vince Lombardi
My Story: Through my journey of hard times, I also became a caretaker for my terminally ill mother. In some ways, it was more taxing than my illnesses. The fear of watching someone you love dying slowly over years. The only thing you can do is care for them as best you can. We all face these challenges and obstacles in life. When you are a caretaker, your self-care must also be a priority.
Ask people what they need. If you are helping someone through illness or grief, ask them what you can do to help; don’t assume you have the answers. We are all unique in the way we deal with these challenges. People are often afraid to touch someone ill as they are in a fragile condition, but the human touch is healing. Ask if you can hug or hold their hand; simple acts of love are needed. Be there for them. Also, If you know any caretakers, give them some love as well.
This essay has been hard to write as it floods my memory of the dark days. In ways, I have medical post-traumatic stress disorder, as the past catches up with me in the most unexpected times. I am healthier now than I have been since I was 10 years old. I do still have chronic pain, but I have learned to live my life to the fullest, to find joy and peace. I radically changed my lifestyle and habits, seeking well-being, and it works.
No matter who you are and your life situation we only have one life. Try to do your best. Find the people and things in your life that bring you joy. Seek meaning and purpose, as they are tools that will help you build resilience.
We can divide the world into two types of people
I can people
I can’t people
Take responsibility and choose to push on despite your situation.
Recommended Reading
A Brief History of Time, by Stephen Hawkins
Resilience: Powerful Practices for Bouncing Back from Disappointment, Difficulty, and Even, Disaster, by Linda Graham
Resilience: The Science of Mastering Life’s Greatest Challenges, by Steven M. Southwick
Citations
Photo by Pedro Sanz on Unsplash
Photo by Max LaRochelle on Unsplash