Learning to focus on only what you can control will increase the quality of your life and empower you. Self-growth equips you with the tools to manage your lifestyle, habits, and choices, enabling you to thrive. Concentrating on what you can influence allows you to take charge of your life and reduce unnecessary worry and anxiety. This is the essence of managing your circle of control, a powerful tool for empowerment.
Harnessing your thoughts and feelings is a management tool for focusing on what is in your circle of control.
So first, let’s look at what you cannot control; we will use the news as a comparison to your life. We all have 24/7 news via our cell phones, iPads, TVs, and the people around us telling us what we have already read or heard in the news. The noise is overpowering and insistent.
The media are attempting to grab your attention amidst all the distractions to get you to consume their news. So, they have sensationalized headlines to scare you or to excite you. And we fall for it.
What are we going to encounter when we look at the news? Mass shootings, climate change, possible war, a brutal political environment. A few puff stories to make us feel good.
- A hurricane is coming to get you, the worst hurricane we’ve ever had in the history of humanity. Earlier than usual, it’s more intense than normal.
- We are in the middle of a presidential election year. Depending on the news station you’re watching, one guy’s the lead, and the other guy’s the villain.
- Artificial intelligence is going to take over our lives and our jobs. It could be the end of civilization that we know.
- Bubonic plague has shown up, or the bird flu will kill all of us.
I know you have seen these headlines. The media tend to exaggerate, so it’s essential to critically analyze what you hear and how it affects you. What is your response? Can you control this event? If you cannot control the event, stop focusing on it; use your energy for situations you can control.
News stories are there to promote someone’s view and make you think and feel a certain way. Many of these stories are someone’s opinion. Others are hyped up with partial truths. Many of the stories have no evidence to back them up. Yes, sometimes the headlines make us afraid, make us worry.
We have no control over 99.9% of the stories we hear. We cannot change the course of these events if they happen. We cannot pick who will be the president. We live in a democracy with one vote. We can vote, and that is under our control. Remember, much of what you’re reading or hearing on the news is speculation; much of it will never happen. We cannot change what is happening in our external environment. What we can change is the focus of this essay.
If a hurricane is coming through your area, you keep track of the weather report. However, you cannot stop the hurricane from moving across the land. A hurricane plan is in your control, shoring up your home and property and getting provisions for the worst-case scenarios. Or you can leave the area until the storm passes.
What you can control
We live in a complex world which often seems out of control. Because it is out of your control. Focusing on what is within your control can significantly improve your well-being and effectiveness. You may have seen this topic referred to as the Circle of Concern and the Circle of Influence. The circle of concern is everything you care about: the weather, events, politics, your child’s health, or your grocery bill. The circle of influence is the thing you can control.
Recognizing What You Can Control and Accepting What You Cant, by Sharon Martin, LCSW
Understanding what matters to you is vital. Pay attention to your desires, fears, and areas where you want more control. Through self-reflection, explore your goals and feelings.
Identify what is within your control. What can you influence, and what is beyond your control? Start with a list, a visual clue of where to focus your time and energy.
How to take control of your life: 10 ways to empower yourself, by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Pay attention to the people you surround yourself with, as the people in our lives greatly influence us. Positive people who do not dwell on the daily drama can help you stay on track. People can also help you stay in the current moment instead of living in the past and the future. You cannot change the past or predict the future; they are beyond your control.
You control your thoughts. First, identify the thoughts you want to change. These thoughts could be remembering a situation or negative self-talk. Use positive affirmations. When you have distressing thoughts, acknowledge them, and explore whether you control this area.
Reduce your exposure to negative news, social media, and toxic environments. This includes the media and people in your life. Some relationships are harmful, and we cannot control the other person’s actions. Assess these relationships; what you can control is yourself.
How you treat others will affect how they respond to you. Control here is being kind and considerate or showing empathy. This you can do. How people treat you is beyond your control. However, keeping a dialogue with this person is always good to see if you can make a breakthrough.
Focusing on what you can control and letting go of what is beyond your control will increase the quality of your life. You can reduce stress and find more happiness and joy daily.
4 Easy Ways to Focus on What You Can Control, by Doug Cartwright
Conclusion
The point is, we can read all the news we want in today’s world. It’s hard to tell what’s true or what is propaganda or sensationalism, but we cannot control these events. By watching the news 24/7, you’re causing undue stress to yourself. The same is true for other events in our lives; we cannot control getting a raise or someone’s anger. My favorite saying is that life is messy. Becoming aware of your circle of influence can help you create a better life.
Politics and the economy do impact the quality of our lives. The weather can dictate short-term outcomes in your environment. We must acknowledge events beyond our control and build resilience to these challenges. Learn to accept the things we cannot control.
It is human to have a list of concerns. You may be passionate about child abuse or world hunger. You can take small steps to be a part of the solution. Join a group, volunteer, or donate funds. Do what you can.
I have been discussing the quality of life this month and the importance of living in the present moment. How do you find quality in a world filled with chaos? First, step back and shift your perspective. Ask yourself, is this something I can control? If the answer is yes, then move forward with a plan. How will you take control?
Take responsibility
The noise is overpowering and insistent. Focus on what truly matters. Remember, it is not about controlling every aspect of life, but focusing on what you can influence. By doing so, you will create a more fulfilling and empowered existence. It is about thriving, not just surviving. Focusing on and understanding what quality of life means to you is a movement toward thriving.
Recommended Reading
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey
The Quality of Life: practical guide, by M. David
Citations
Photo by Sivani Bandaru on Unsplash
Photo by Heather Mount on Unsplash
Photo by Sunguk Kim on Unsplash
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