What are the essential elements of well-being? How do we find balance in our lives? Social connections have a vital influence on our minds, bodies, and behaviors, directly affecting our health and life expectancy.
This blog is a part of a series on well-being. The series started on May 3. Please review the May blogs. We are creating a comprehensive well-being plan. We are looking at the components needed for well-being as a puzzle with many pieces. Here is where we are now:
Your social network is not just about family and friends. We have many acquaintances in our lives. We go to work and school, attend sporting events, and interact with neighbors. There are many people in your life.
We will talk about developing a keener awareness of your social network and how it fits into the other components of your life/puzzle. The many social roles that you hold. Why a social support system is needed, and how to develop a plan to ensure you nurture your most valued relationships.
Awareness
A big part of changing your habits and lifestyle is becoming aware of where you are now and where you want to be. We often take our relationships for granted; they are what they are. But the truth is, we can improve and nourish our relationships. A good starting point is to assess who is in your social network.
Also, we need to be aware of how relationships influence our well-being. They can bring us pleasure, reduce stress, and affect our long-term health. Our social network provides support in times of need and special occasions for celebration. The good, the bad, and the ugly, your social network can help you move through the milestones of life, as well as your day-to-day activities.
Time constraints are an area we want to focus on as we juggle social roles, such as raising children, your romantic partner, and caregiving. Then, we have friends and social commitments such as sports, church, and school. These social roles can stretch your time and patience. We are all seeking balance and need to ensure we take care of ourselves first.
IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP….
Clipped from the newspaper – Unknown
- You feel respected as a person,
- Your physical and emotional needs are taken seriously,
- You share positive feelings for each other,
- You are appreciated and not taken for granted,
- You or your partner are not afraid to spend time alone,
- You listen and speak respectfully to one another,
- Trust is present,
- There is a sense of humor and play,
- Responsibilities are shared fairly and carried out,
- Your privacy is respected,
- You don’t fight for control, but share it,
- You and your partner can admit when you’re wrong,
- Both of you can ask for help from the other,
- You want to (and enjoy) spending time together,
- Changes in each partner are discussed and negotiated for growth,
- You feel good about yourself when you are in the relationship,
- Both partners have other sources of emotional support as well as each other,
- Love is a verb, not a noun – This feeling is demonstrated by both partners in the relationship
How to nurture your social connection
Quality of relationships
Meaningful relationships provide companionship, emotional support, and shared experiences. These factors increase our happiness and life satisfaction. We find meaning and purpose through our relationships. In a quality relationship, we know the other person’s uniqueness. We trust them. Deep relationships with our inner circle and community prompt social well-being.
Do Social Ties Affect Our Health? by National Institute of Health
59 Characteristics of Healthy Relationships, by Alice Boyes, Ph.D., Psychology Today
It would be best if you found a balance between having a few close connections within your larger social network. Prioritizing quality time with family and friends. We make time for what matters most. Prioritizing your social connections within the limited 168 hours we have per week is important.
Focus on quality over quantity. Invest in meaningful interactions. Make mealtimes with your family a time for quality. Call a friend to meet for coffee or to take a walk. Don’t make relationships a task you check off your list. Please do not sit and look at your phone; look at the person across the table. Genuine relationships require actual contact. Have you heard the saying; the eyes are the window to the soul; how can you know another if you do not look into their eyes?
Diversify your social network by connecting with people with different backgrounds or perspectives. This can add new dimensions to your life.
Balancing social roles
Balancing our social roles takes some awareness of the roles we play. We hold many roles in our lives; we may be a parent, an employee, neighbors, or friends. Relationships need to be prioritized to ensure we are nurturing the relationships that are most important to us.
Being social is vital to our well-being, but it is equally essential to set boundaries. Learn to say no when necessary. Protecting your time and energy and caring for yourself are just as vital to well-being.
Recognize that there will be times when one role takes precedence over others. At different stages in our lives, certain roles become top priorities, such as those of newlyweds or parents. You may be focused on a major deadline at work or in college, you may be hyper-focused on getting through a challenging class. Some of your social networks may be put on hold temporarily. Accept that the priority of the roles may change because of circumstances.
Prioritizing Social Connections and Family in a Busy World, by Healthyessentialsclinic
Social support systems
Belonging is a basic human need; our relationships provide a support system. We rely on a social support system for survival, our community, country, and families. Our social network can help us through challenges and setbacks. The support could be emotional, informational, or physical help.
Lacking a social support system can lead to isolation, depression, and risk of dementia as we age. We need people in our lives.
In my 30s and 40s, I had 15 years of severe health issues. I was too ill at times to care for myself. I relied on others to help me bathe, dress, and prepare my food. During my dark days, I needed emotional support. I would not have made it on my own. The people around me keep me moving. I learned to ask for help. During this time, I learned a lot about the people in my network. People who I thought were dear friends turned out to be fair-weather friends. There for the good times, but bye-bye during the bad times. Others turned out to be genuine friends. Who turned out when I needed them most was an eye-opening experience. What I learned is that, at times, we need to lean on others. And that we need to be there for others who need us.
Making new friends
Some people have a more challenging time making connections. Some suggestions would be to join clubs, classes, or a church.
When making new friends may take time, or you meet someone and feel an instant connection as if you have known them forever. A comfort in which you could talk all day, happy when you see them again. Other relationships take longer to develop. Relationships require two people to be involved. You cannot force a relationship on another.
Intentional Living – Nourishing Your Social Connections and Skills, by Linda L. Pilcher
Digital age dilemmas
The Internet has created a new type of social structure. Even though it has been around for a long time, the 2020 pandemic accelerated a different social world. Many of us were sent home to work or to attend school virtually. We lost something so important: human connection and face-to-face interaction. Talking to young people, I know how abrupt and destabilizing the pandemic was and the forced isolation affecting their well-being. However, the sudden disconnect from normal relationships also affected many social roles; parents had to change their lives to either work from home or find childcare. Those left at jobs were forced to social distance.
This is a world even we all experienced; the pandemic took a toll on all of us. Our devices became the lifelines of our networks. The pandemic left a mark. We are still recovering from the shock of the disconnect. It also showed us how important real social contact is for our emotional health.
Technology has also broken down communication barriers in different ways. Each person or age group picks their favorite method of communication, and now, we often don’t communicate because we are using different platforms. For some, it is texting; others use email, others video chat, and some still use the phone and face-to-face contact. Even though physical contact is important, these other forms of communication also feed our well-being. We now have constant contact.
Yet the screens impact our social lives, and the depth of our connections has been compromised; there is a barrier. We are connected to our devices all the time. I watch people walk down my street. They never look up, take in the day’s beauty, or greet people they are passing. Their heads are down, deeply tranced by the phone. Everyone seems to look down instead of at the world.
Effects of Technological Innovations on Social Interactions, by Samuel Centre for Social Connectedness.
Tips for balancing connections
Work-life balance can lead to conflicts, and the demands placed on you can lead to stress. This is a challenging task, but make sure you set boundaries on your time and energy. Set limits and respect other boundaries.
Be your authentic self. The best way to connect with people is to be who you truly are; don’t try to be what you think they want.
Make the connection: 10 effective ways to connect with people, by Maggie Wooll
Invest time and attention in developing and nurturing relationships. Spending time with others helps build social connectedness.
Supporting your social network, asking for help during tough times, but also being there for others during their tough times. Be there for others in the good and bad times.
When conflict arises, address it constructively. Open communication is essential for building strong relationships. Avoiding conflict can hurt your health, you may end up compromising your emotional health. Problems that are not addressed can lead to resentment in relationships. Reframe confrontation as an opportunity for healthy communication.
Small acts of connection help build supportive, valued, and meaningful relationships. Call someone just to say hi how are you today? Give people dedicated time, not I have five minutes for you – give them your time.
Encourage activities that involve physical presence, meeting friends, and attending events. Seek a balance between the digital world and the physical world.
Conclusion
“Connection, the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”
Brene Brown
Prioritize your social connections. Finding a balance is an ongoing process. We must continuously assess our roles, adjust priorities, and make time for self-care. Visualize your social network and determine which relationships are priorities. Not that you will drop some relationships but nourish the most important ones. Reach out and touch someone, make the connection stronger.
Relationships are about respect, appreciation, effective communication, trust, play, and accountability. Healthy relationships require effort, understanding, and continuous communication. They require time and energy.
Our social network is essential to our well-being. Our societies have developed for the survival of the whole, so our communities are just as important to our overall wellness. Meaningful relationships act as a buffer against adversity, they promote growth and improve the quality of our life.
Evaluate your social equations and reflect on the power of the connections.
Let’s get Social
Take Responsibility – No Excuses
Share your stories of success in building relationships.
Recommended Reading
Social Equations: The Formulas for Deep Friendships, Charm, Trust, and Being a People Person, by Patrick King
Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships, by Daniel Goleman
How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen, by David Brooks
Citations
Photo by August de Richelieu
Photo by Simi Iluyomade on Unsplash
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