How are you living your life? Are you paying attention? Do you know what you want from life? What do you plan to do with your life? Are you surviving or thriving? These are important questions to ask yourself. We have the power to design the life we want by the choices we make. By taking control of our thoughts, actions, and visions of our future, we can change the trajectory of our destination.
Let’s look at two models for living your life: surviving versus thriving. What does survival mode look like? A person in survival mode only meets their basic needs and makes it through the day as best possible. You might feel unmotivated or tired all the time. Stress and anxiety may weigh you down, making it hard to make decisions or to get a good night’s sleep. You are most likely reactive to life’s challenges instead of proactive.
On the other hand, thriving is about flourishing and living with purpose. As you wake up, you feel energized by the day before you and are excited to embrace opportunities and connect with others. A thriving person is most likely caring for themselves and managing their health and emotions. You are likely finding balance and joy by following your passions, or at least on the right path to self-actualization. We are all a work in progress, so we should never stop reaching for our hopes, plans, and dreams.
Which are you? Surviving or thriving? Think about the people in your life. Can you spot which mode they are living in? Is there a visible difference? We can take control of our lives and incrementally change our direction. There is always room for improvement, self-growth, and change.
Expectations
Our expectations play a role in determining whether we are just surviving or moving toward thriving. If we expect little from life or ourselves, we create barriers and set limits on what we can accomplish, building a wall between ourselves and reaching our fullest potential. Avoiding new experiences or meeting new people limits our personal growth. We may prevent these experiences to avoid disappointment and self-doubt. This mindset puts us in survival mode, where our goals are just to get through the day. If we expect failure, we believe we will fail, which becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy; we subconsciously act in ways that reinforce those beliefs.
Thriving or flourishing starts with a vision of something better, something to work toward. Having positive expectations can inspire hope and motivation; it can provide the resilience to adapt and push through any challenges or setbacks you face. When we set high expectations, we learn and grow; we are open to new experiences. The belief that we can give us confidence.
Thriving in life means we face our days head-on, tackle our challenges, and seek new experiences. By reframing our expectations and developing a positive attitude, we can learn to see challenges as opportunities. The difference is how we react. The distinction between surviving and thriving lies in the mindset and profoundly affects our quality of life. Thriving is about showing up in the world. Thriving is not about perfection; it is about positive psychological functioning and emotional control.
What truly matters in your life, and are you following your heart? Are you in control? Are you happy? How do you feel about the day when your eyes open in the morning? Are you excited, or do you want to pull the covers over your head?
Personal growth is vital to thriving. Growth is about continuously developing your skills, mindset, and self-awareness. It is you taking responsibility and control. You cannot reach your fullest potential if your favorite place is in bed under the covers. To thrive, you need to step out of your comfort zone.
Each of us will have a different definition of what thriving looks like, but you need to define it for yourself before you can reach your potential. Personal growth encourages you to find focus and clarity through self-reflection. When you align your goals and values in life, you will find deep satisfaction and achieve your goals. Okay, let’s switch gears and look at intentional living, taking control of your life, and making deliberate choices.
Intentional Living
Intentional living is a lifestyle based on consciously aligning your actions and decisions with your values and beliefs, instead of drifting through life. It is about taking control. Choosing intentional living is like planting a garden that will bloom in beautiful colors. As you nurture plants and give them the care they require, they bloom. We need to be nurtured as well, and we are the ones who provide this self-care.
Intentional living has many benefits, including better mental and physical health. The development of healthier relationships. You experience lower stress levels and greater happiness through deliberate living. You align your values to achieve your goals.
Sounds great! Sign me up.
Of course, there is a catch – you will most likely have to change your lifestyle and habits. You have to put time and effort into working toward these changes. Also, remember that change takes time. You will not do this overnight. We are working toward eudaimonia, which is “human flourishing” and a contented state of being happy, healthy, and prosperous.
So, are you flourishing?
- Do you experience joy and contentment?
- Are you immersed in activities that light you up?
- Are your relationships deep and meaningful?
- Does your life have purpose and meaning?
- Are you achieving your goals?
We all want a life that is filled with contentment and purpose. If your answer to the questions above is no. Then you have a starting place. If your answer is yes to all the above, well, we all have room to grow.
First, get out of bed with a positive attitude. Remember, your expectations set the stage for the day. Take an honest look at how you spend your time. Are your daily actions in line with your values? Start with identifying any disconnects or misalignments between daily actions and intentions.
Know what you want. Prioritize your top values; not all values are equal. Focus on the ones that are most important to your long-term goals.
“When you get right down to it, intentional living is about living your best story.”
John C. Maxwell
Be deliberate with your day. Plan your time for the things that matter the most.
Revisit your list of goals regularly. Out of sight – out of mind. By visiting the list often, you are reaffirming your commitment. You can then refocus on your daily intentions. It takes small incremental steps to reach our most important goals.
Be authentic; don’t try to live someone else’s life. There is no right or wrong; you are the one designing the life you want.
Be present. Awareness of your daily choices is essential. We will be changing habits; some are deeply ingrained in our lives, and some are unconscious. Remember that the inner voice is a guide, and you may need to teach this internal dialogue some new language. It is a journey to retrain yourself, but the change will be valuable in creating a thriving lifestyle. Align your internal dialogue with deliberate objectives.
Conclusion
The shift to thriving changes your perspective and vocabulary; change “I have to” to “I get to” and see whatever you are doing as an opportunity instead of a burden.
Yes, to growth, and no to things that drain you. Surround yourself with positive people who inspire you; thriving people build thriving relationships. Being intentional means having the ability to see specific results in the future that, if you achieve them, will help you become the person you want to be. Intentional living is about being more deliberate with your day and activities. Survival mode is just drifting through life.
We all want to be the best version of ourselves. We want to live a life that is authentically ours. You design the life you want by the choices you make. This is where intentional living comes into the picture. Determine your identity and set a path to reaching that person.
There are believed to be three universal existential flouring cores. The first is love, nurturing your relationships, and expressing affection; build those relationships. Learning is how we thrive. Curiosity fuels growth. Read, explore, and expand your mind. The third core is playing. Playfulness is the substance of flourishing. Dance, laugh, create, and find your joy!
Again, I ask, are you just trying to get through the day, or do you find your daily activities fulfilling? Are you excited when you wake up in the morning? Have you found your passion, that thing that drives you to move forward?
Limited thinking will keep you in survival mode. Living only for today. Find your why. What truly matters? Reach for the stars and make your hopes, plans, and dreams come true.
Recommended Reading
Thriving!: How to Create a Healthier, Happier, and More Prosperous Life, By Rand Selig
Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being, by Martin E.P. Seligman
Flourishing: How to achieve a deeper sense of well-being and purpose in a crisis, by Maureen Gaffney
Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life, by Martin E. P. Seligman
Other Blogs to help you on your journey:
Thriving in Life – The Well-Being Framework
Navigating the Uncontrollable – A Guide to Quality of Life
Take Responsibility for the Quality of Your Life
Designing the life, you want by the choices you make
Designing Tomorrow – The Path to Intentional Living
A Perfect Day – Becoming the Best Version of Yourself
Citations
Photo by Man Chung on Unsplash
Photo by Duy Le Duc on Unsplash
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