Linda L. Pilcher

Intentional Living – Nourishing Your Knowledge, Skills, and Abilities (KSAs)

Intentionality is about making deliberate choices in how you live your life. It is about owning your time and actions and developing a purposeful plan. Whether building better relationships, prioritizing health, or becoming a lifelong learner, intentional living leads to positive outcomes. It is a lifestyle that encourages you to identify your priorities and values and live in alignment with them every day.

"Knowledge has power. It controls access to opportunity and advancement." - Peter Drucker

As a teacher, an artist, and a writer, my life’s purpose and work are built on my knowledge, skills, and abilities (KSAs). The three elements blend harmoniously to create competence – your ability to do something successfully or efficiently. Competence empowers you to exert control over your life, tackle challenges effectively, and change your behavior and environment. Competency is a key to opening opportunities in your personal and professional endeavors.

Knowledge, Skills, and Abilities Defined

Knowledge

Knowledge is how well you know concepts and facts, the range of your information and understanding. It is information that you possess and can apply to perform a job, such as understanding policies and procedures or federal regulations. In an office, it might be knowing how to prepare a report. In an industry, you need more specific knowledge, such as in medicine, engineering, or aerospace. It is the process of gaining and incorporating new knowledge and information. It involved actively seeking knowledge through education, reading, research, training, and asking questions.

Bloom’s Taxonomy is a classification of the different levels of thinking or knowledge. It was developed to help teachers and students in the classroom. It is an excellent model for understanding how we think and acquire knowledge.

Bloom’s Taxonomy in education recognizes four types of knowledge: Factual Knowledge of terminology and details, Conceptual Knowledge of relationships among pieces of concepts or theories, Procedural Knowledge of processes and methods of theories and problems, and Metacognitive Knowledge of learning strategies and processes. There are six aspects of learning: Remembering, Understanding, Applying, Analyzing, Evaluating, and Creating.

Skills

Skills are proficiencies developed through practice and experience; knowing how to prepare a document professionally is a valuable skill. Examples of skills are public speaking, leadership, time management, and carpentry skills. Learning new skills requires deliberate practice and persistence. To master a skill, practice is critical. Experience builds competence. We also seek training and learning from others to develop our skills. Think of it as a commitment to lifelong learning.

The World Health Organization defines life skills as “the ability for adaptive and positive behavior that enables individuals to deal effectively with the demands and challenges of everyday life.” These include critical thinking, interpersonal/communication skills, and coping and self-management skills. Some skills, such as accounting, are complex, so identified as hard skills. They are specific and measurable and can be taught and assessed. Soft skills are difficult to measure, yet essential for a good life. Soft skills include a mix of social skills, interpersonal communication, know-how, and character traits that help one in their private, social, and professional lives.

These skills are usually clubbed into three major categories:

Thinking skills (critical thinking, creative thinking, problem solving, decision making)
Personal skills (self-awareness, self-management)
Interpersonal skills (communication skills, empathy, cooperation)

101 Useful Skills to Develop and Why They’re Worth Knowing, by Indeed Editorial Team

Abilities

Where skills are learned, abilities represent your capacity to perform specific actions that enable you to express skills. Abilities are often innate or natural. For example, you may have a natural inclination to music. Playing an instrument might be your natural talent. Then a musician can set goals regarding this talent, to build on their skills. They practiced, studied, and practiced more. Examples of abilities are physical coordination, problem-solving, organization, adaptability, and emotional intelligence.

"Everyone has their own talents. It's up to the individual to see what you can actually do." - Win Butler

These three elements of knowledge, skills, and abilities work together to fully help us live our lives. Acquiring the proper blend of these elements is needed for success. As we determine our purpose, we need to set some goals for managing our KSAs and continuing growth.

Living intentionally requires slowing down, digging deep, and being mindful of your actions. The first step is to accept that life comprises choices. We can choose to connect with our beliefs, or we can choose to let others guide our decisions.

“It is never too late to be who you might have been.”
George Elliot

Being an intentional learner means investing time, energy, and maybe finances into skills and training that will create the future you desire.

As we go through life, we do not always know how to use the skills we are learning. Yet, we practice, practice, practice until we have mastered the skill. As we become adults, some skills are set on the back burner as we learn new skills. Life can take many paths, and we cannot predict which path we will end up on. We meet a new person, get a new job, and move to a new location, all change our trajectory.

My example is that as a child, I immersed myself in art. Art was a part of my everyday life; I drew or painted for hours and hours. I did not know that what I was doing was practicing, learning, and enforcing the skills. But I became exceptionally good at art. Practicing drawing and painting taught me patience, diligence, and clarity, which are the building blocks of vital skills as an artist. It all takes time.

The skills I cultivated as a young artist, evolved as I matured. I learned to plan, visualize outcomes, and mentally grasp three-dimensional spaces. Strategic thinking emerged – seeing patterns, envisioning flow. These skills seamlessly flowed into my work, hobbies, and adaptability to learn new ones.

Intentional living is about making conscious decisions about how you are living your life. Too often, people move through their days without a plan or being aware of the day. As in taking care of your body through exercise and nutrition, we must be mindful of our cognitive abilities. What goals can you set in your life? Improving your knowledge, skills, and abilities requires a proactive plan.

Strategies for Improving your KSAs

Read books, articles, and research materials related to your interest. We may do this for work, but do you study for your other life goals? The diversity of your sources will help you to gain a well-rounded perspective. Take a class or go to workshops or seminars; the internet provides classes and webinars. Or, as many of us know, you can learn just about anything from YouTube videos. We live in a culture where education is everywhere.

“The more you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”
Dr. Seuss

Practice deliberately. Consistent and deliberate practice is the cornerstone of skill improvement. Focus on mastering each step. The pattern of trying, failing, refining your approach, and trying again is the heart of building all behavior skills. Deliberate practice creates expertise.

Network and collaborate, interact with peers and mentors. Engage in discussions and attend conferences. Exposure to different viewpoints prompts idea exchange and can help you learn.

Practice regular reflection, which is a diagnostic skill that helps intentional learners evaluate themselves to determine their learning needs. It is a simple practice that can have a significant impact on your performance in many ways.

Mind the gap, take an inventory of your KSAs, who you are today, and what tools you need for tomorrow.

Conclusion

Being intentional means making deliberate choices to reflect on what is most important to us. These deliberate choices can help us maintain a positive outlook, reach goals, and experience more clarity. It also allows us to focus and commit to our lives, bringing us more purpose and meaning.

"Make each day your Masterpiece." - John Wooden

This is about resetting your perspective. When you live intentionally, you experience living in the moment; it is not about the past or necessarily the future; you are working on your life choices. Here and Now. You learn from the situations and experiences you are having now, knowing that you have the power to change. Yes, the future is important, but not Here and Now. We prepare for the future we want by being intentional Today.

Improvement takes time and effort. Perseverance and determination will get you there. There may be setbacks, but setting a goal and keeping your eye on the goal will help.

Being intentional is about adopting a mindset that you can deliberately enter into at any time. It creates an opportunity to live purposefully, guided by what is important to you. There is no one-size-fits-all.

Let’s set goals for knowledge, skills, and abilities.

“The best way to predict the future is to create it.”
Abraham Lincoln

Citations

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Intentional Living – Nourishing Your Social Connections and Skills

Human interaction is vital to our well-being. Social engagement can boost our mood and make us happy. We do not live in isolation; we need people to survive, thrive, innovate, and find purpose in our existence. Intentional socializing is not about quantity; it is about quality. As we set our intentional social goals, one of our priorities is relationships.

“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship." -Brene Brown.

A strong social support system that nourishes your soul and contributes to your mental health. Intentional engagement can reduce feelings of loneliness. Meaningful relationships provide emotional support.

Intentional living involves making conscious choices that align with your values, beliefs, and aspirations. Setting goals helps us stop drifting through life, allowing us to shape our lives and relationships actively.

Intentional goals for social engagement include social intelligence, which is understanding the world of engagement, as well as your communication skills toolbox. Yes, you can improve your social skills. So, let’s set some goals today.

“I am a part of all that I have met.”
Lord Tennyson

Relationships need to be nurtured – set goals for the critical relationships in your life. Just as we seek clarity in our educational or financial goals, we also need to seek clarity in our relationships. Essential relationships in your life should be a high priority.

Let’s look at some components of relationships and social engagement so we can set goals for improving our current relationships and building new ones. We will look at the definitions of social intelligence, play, and loneliness.

Social Intelligence

Social intelligence is the ability to understand the skills we need to live well in the world. In Daniel Goleman’s book, Social Intelligence, he discusses social awareness, which is a spectrum that runs from instantaneously sensing another’s inner state to understanding their feelings and thoughts to getting through complicated social situations. Social intelligence is learned through experience with people and learning from both successes and failures.

People who are good at social interactions understand the different social roles and norms that govern interaction. They are good at listening and helping others to feel connected after interactions. They pay attention to other behaviors and words. Socially intelligent people are aware of the impression they create balancing authenticity with managing how others perceive them.

Goleman lays out what social awareness entails. Feeling what others feel and sensing their nonverbal emotional signals is our primary empathy. Attunement is our skill of listening to others with complete receptivity, attuning to that person’s communication. Empathetic accuracy relates to our understanding of another person’s thoughts, feelings, and intentions. In any social situation, we read non-verbal signals and verbal signals, taking a reading of the other person. Their facial expressions, hand gestures, and how they hold their bodies are all a part of the communication process. It is also necessary to know how the social world works, with is our social cognition.

Goleman discusses how sensing how others feel or knowing what they think or intend does not guarantee successful interaction. Another term that Goleman uses is social facility, which is how we build social awareness to allow for more effective communication. Social facility includes synchrony, which means interacting smoothly at a nonverbal level. How effective are we at presenting ourselves, and what type of influence do we have on shaping social interaction? The concern about others’ needs and acting accordingly. In essence, the ability to read and sense another person’s emotions, even when they stop sending signals. We all experience an understanding of other feelings or emotions without them saying a word. You ask your friend if something is wrong, even when they have not told you about any problems. You feel their feelings.

Play

Play in childhood is how we learn to navigate the social world. According to the APA Dictionary of Psychology, play is defined as activities that appear to be freely sought and pursued solely for the sake of individual or group enjoyment.

Play is one of the most effective tools for keeping relationships fresh and exciting. Engaging in play brings joy, vitality, and resilience to a relationship. Through regular play, we learn to trust one another and feel safe. By spending more time playing, we can enhance our social connections to flourish.

"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing." - George Bernard Shaw

As adults, getting together with friends for a meal, having coffee, playing a board game, or taking a dance class are forms of play. It could be as simple as a playful conversation. Play is a time to forget about work and commitments and to be social in a creative or unstructured way. It is a way of cultivating happiness.

“Think back to the most important experiences of your life, the highest highs, the greatest victories, the most daunting obstacles overcome. How many happened to you alone? I bet there are very few. When you understand that being connected to others is one of life’s greatest joys, you realize that life’s best comes when you initiate and invest in solid relationships.”
John C. Maxwell

The Loneliness Epidemic

According to a 2018 survey conducted by Cigna, 48% of Generation Zers surveyed identified as lonely, 69% felt as though people around them are not “with them” and 68% feel like “nobody truly knows them.” Other generations also identified as being lonely overall. Millennials came in at 45%, Gen X came in at 45%, Boomers came in at 42%.

Loneliness is a factor that leads to psychiatric disorders and has been linked to heart disease, stroke, and Alzheimer’s disease. So, being lonely can lead to a decline in the quality of your life. This is a good reason to gain better communication skills, to connect with others.

The COVID pandemic left a mark across the world, as people were sent home to work and attend school via Zoom. Many people felt loneliness for the first time, and there is still a lingering mark from this global event. Too many people are living much of their days in a virtual world.

Social engagement reduces loneliness and contribute to mental health and well-being.

10 Tips for How to Make Friends, by Dr. John Delony

Can you develop stronger social intelligence?

Yes, you can. Social intelligence is a skill that can be developed. Developing social intelligence is an intentional goal. It is a natural skill for some, but anyone can learn it.

Observe your surroundings and watch people interact. Pay attention to their body language and any unspoken signals. Take note of individuals who excel in social situations. What are they doing to engage with others and create meaningful connections?

Learn more about emotional intelligence, which involves managing your own emotions and empathizing with others. Communication is about emotions; be aware of your own feelings, which will help with recognizing the emotions in others.

Improve your communication skills. Listening is one of the most important of these skills. Truly listen when others speak, understanding their perspectives and feelings. Work on your ability to engage in meaningful conversations, show some vulnerability, and open up to others to help them open up to you. Be yourself; we all want to present a positive impression, but do not compromise your authenticity.

“Friendship is based on the oldest and most intrinsic human awareness that there is more to life than just ourselves.”
Christopher Hansard

Join a social group or organization. These opportunities can expand your personal and professional growth, introduce you to more people, and allow you to practice your communication skills. Let me plug in for Toastmasters International, a nonprofit organization that helps people develop communication, public speaking, and leadership skills. It is a club where people meet regularly to give speakers education and feedback in a safe, supportive environment while working on improving their communication skills, including nonverbal skills.

Relationships

Connecting with others requires you to reach out, have conversations, give of yourself, and to have an interest in the other person. For example, friendship is not a one-way road, social engagement is how a person connects with others in a community. You can think of it as social involvement or social participation; the degree that you identify, interact with, and emotionally link with another.

One of the most important determinants of living a long life is flourishing close relationships and being involved in your community. Social engagements are vital to fighting loneliness, preventing cognitive decline, and having a good quality of life. Strong relationships also help you recover from stress, anxiety, or depression. The bottom line is that we need to be connected to others.

As with other areas of intentional living, we want to become aware of the relationships with family and friends, of our roles in the community. Our social interactions promote a sense of belonging and community.

100 Social Goal Ideas To Help Develop Your Social Life, by Richard Coward

Conclusion

In 1963, the poet TS Elliot warned that the new medium was spreading into homes, permitting millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time yet remaining lonesome. We often stay at arm’s length, and it has only become worse as the Internet, iPhones, and iPads have taken over our lives.

Goleman states that civilization is in the midst of vast singularity. We live in a meta world, but the issues that matter most are family, community, and social responsibility. We all see it when we go to a restaurant; entire families have phones to their faces, with no contact with the family around them. People actually text each other when they are in the same room. This is a social disconnect we must become aware of and address in our lives. Is Facebook more important than the person sitting across from you? In a world of virtual interactions, let’s prioritize human connection—it’s essential for our well-being.

We need to devote more time and energy to being with people in our lives that we find most nourishing and reducing the number of emotionally toxic interactions we have in our day. Toxic relationships can drag you down. Be aware of these emotional connections. Remember, we design the life we want by the choices we make.

Set goals for developing stronger social intelligence and skills. Get out with people and practice, play, or join an organization. Put your phone down and look at the other person. Connect!

Intentional living and purposeful socialization are powerful tools for a happier, healthier life. Set your goals, embrace authenticity, and connect with intention.

Let’s Get Intentional!

Citations

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Intentional Living – Nourishing Your Mind and Body

My daily chant is Eat-Move-Sleep. These are my top priorities each and every day. Remember, we have 168 hours in a week. Do you want to spend time on the things that matter? Health matters. It is the foundation of well-being and finding life satisfaction. Yes, other areas of our day are just as important. These three areas need to be at the top. In this blog, the month of April will be about intentional living. Make choices that will help you reach your hopes, plans, and dreams.

"Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food." - Hippocrates

Our bodies are like machines. They are meant to be used, worked, and stretched. The more we use our brain and body, the healthier we become.

” Eat Well. Move Daily. Hydrate Often. Sleep Lots. Love your Body.”
Unknown

Health matters most; without it, you cannot function optimally. I have shared with you that I battled chronic illness for most of my life. However, I transformed my lifestyle, changing patterns and listening to my inner voice and habits to become healthy. Did all the bad things go away? No! Yet, I am a very healthy version of my old self. I swear by this triad of needs; Eat – Move – Sleep. Today, I will refer to three books to discuss nourishing our mind and body.

Eat Move Sleep: How Small Choices Lead to Big Changes, by Tom Rath.
The Healthy Deviant: A Rule Breaker’s Guide to Being Healthy in an Unhealthy World, by Pilar Gerasimo
Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity, by Peter Attia, M.D.

Intentional living is a purposeful way of approaching life. It is about making conscious choices that resonate with your true self. Intentional living is not about perfection; it is about awareness. Remember, you design the life you want based on the choices you make. Intentional living promotes overall well-being.

Mindful decision-making, pausing and reflecting as we make choices. Does this align with your values and your goals? We say we do not have time, but we control our time. Prioritize what matters most.

We are working on a new way of thinking, reframing our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. I will talk about Eat-Move-Sleep, using some very informative books as guides. Tom Rath’s book Eat Move Sleep: How Small choices Lead to Big Changes outlines three essential elements of health and well-being. Eating wisely, exercising regularly, and getting enough rest. All critical components of a healthier life and improving your overall quality of life. The book outlines three essential elements of health and well-being. Eating wisely, exercising regularly, and getting enough rest are essential components leading to a healthier life and improving overall quality of life.

Rath suggests making slight adjustments to your food; every bite you take is a small but essential choice. Increasing your movement throughout your day is critical. Sleep and rest are your restorative time, vital to your physical, emotional, and brain health.

In The Healthy Deviant: A Rule Breaker’s Guide to Being Healthy in an Unhealthy World,” Pilar Gerasimo combines sociology, psychology, evolutionary biology, functional medicine, and real-world experiences to present a fresh perspective on well-being. His self-help guide rejects the “one-size-fits-all” approach to dieting and health advice. Instead, it offers practical strategies and tools for achieving health on your terms.

The author, Pilar Gerasimo, introduces a 14-day Healthy-Deviant Adventure Program that includes powerful mindset shifts, daily practices, and tools to empower readers to take charge of their health.

Dr. Attia presents an operating manual for longevity in his book, Outlive, The Science & Art of Longevity. Dr. Attia pulls from the latest science to deliver innovative nutritional interventions, techniques for optimizing exercise and sleep, and tools for addressing emotional and mental health. Dr. Attia believes we must replace our outdated framework with a personalized, proactive strategy for longevity, where we take action now rather than waiting.

We are not talking about starting an exercise program or a new diet. We are discussing changing your lifestyle and resetting your mindset for permanent changes. The principles of this topic are widespread throughout self-growth, self-care, and medical information. First, these are the basic needs of your body and mind. If you do not meet these requirements, it could cost your health.

Small choices related to eating, physical activity, and sleep can accumulate over time, significantly affecting our overall health. Tom Rath emphasizes the importance of making sustainable changes to our lifestyle rather than relying on quick fixes.

All three books advocate for personalized health choices and provide practical tools. The impact of our daily choices on our health and well-being.

Eat - Move - Sleep
Socialize - Learn - Work
Mindfulness
Dance - Music - Create
Be Happy
Find your Joy!
"The goal is to be strong, fluid, and agile as you move through the world." Peter Attia M.D.

A Path to Intentional Nutrition

Eat, Move, Sleep by Tom Rath emphasizes the importance of small, intentional habits for a healthier and more fulfilling life. Rath states that every meal matters, every bite and drink count. The moment you ingest something, it moves to your body, creating positive or negative effects in various places.

Dr. Attia looks at the quality of our years, and the only way to create a better future is to set yourself on a better trajectory. His focus is from a medical perspective, and he talks about the “Four Horsemen: heart disease, cancer, neurodegenerative disease, or type 2 diabetes. The goal would be to live a heather lifestyle to improve our chances by avoiding these illnesses, which are often caused by poor lifestyle choices. Thus, can be improved by making better choices.

Pay attention to your body’s hunger and fullness cues. Savor each bite. Prioritize nutritional foods that support your body’s needs, work toward quality over quantity. Intentional eating isn’t just about physical health; it’s about nurturing your relationship with food, body image, and overall well-being.

Become aware of the quality of your food. It is best if you can prepare your own food. I am not a dietitian, but I lost over half of my body weight in part by cooking my own meals. If you become aware of the ingredients of your food versus your nutritional needs; you find that food outside of your house is usually filled with salt, sugar, oil, and butter. The ingredients that make the food taste great are the same ones that, if over-consumed, make us unhealthy and overweight.

Intentional Movement

How much you move affects your overall health and well-being. Think of exercise as medicine. The impact on your health is profound. Exercise plays an essential role in preventing and treating diseases. As little as 15 minutes a day of moderate activity can make a difference. But, more important, it is the hours of inactivity that hurt our bodies, sitting in front of the computer, or TV, and not moving. Make a habit of getting up often. When I first started my movement plan, I would set an alarm on my phone to trigger me to get up and move.

Regular exercise can improve your heart health, help you maintain a normal weight, reduce chronic conditions, and reduce stress. It makes you feel better, more optimistic, and motivated. Exercise improves your brain health and function. Your plan could be as simple as taking a walk every day.

Rath states that exercise is a wonder drug that hasn’t been bottled. Exercise is a way of keeping chronic pain at bay. Researchers have found that exercise enhances the expression of specific health-related genes. After an hour of exercise, they found that the activity altered the way DNA produces specialized muscle proteins and boosts metabolism. This change causes the muscles to burn more fats and sugars, which could reduce the need for a variety of medications.

Important Notice: It is best to check with your doctor before changing your exercise or diet. Your intentional living plan should include your doctor as part of your health plan. They are on your team.

Movement is not just about exercise; it is about limiting inactivity. Focus on avoiding long periods of inactivity. Sitting for extended hours can be detrimental to health. The solution is simple; don’t sit for more than an hour. Get up, move around, and break the sedentary habit.

Why is Sleep Important?

Sleep is not a luxury; it is a necessity. Sleep is a foundation of well-being, as it restores your body. The bottom line is that if we eat right, and move more, then we will get better sleep. When you do these things in combination, you will see an improvement.

During sleep, our bodies repair tissues, consolidate memories, and release growth hormones. It’s like a nightly reset button. Lack of sleep affects cognitive function, memory, and decision-making. Intentional Rest is a powerful tool for fighting illness, emotional balance, and energy loss.

Rath discusses your body’s 24-hour clock called your circadian rhythm which regulates your sleeping and waking cycles. Each organ has its own circadian clock genes that help you operate with efficiency all day long. When your biological clock is disrupted, it contributes to a host of issues, from weight gain to heart problems to depression.

Proper sleep contributes to your health and well-being by restoring your immune system and regulating your blood sugar. Quality sleep also promotes cardiac health.

Conclusion

“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live in.”
Jim Rohn

Our bodies and minds are like machines in that they decline if we do not use them. Our bodies are complex, and functionality depends on how we maintain our body and mind. Just as machines rust when unused, our bodies and minds can suffer from nonuse. Once we start breaking down, illness and disease can take over our bodies and minds. Let’s not wage war with our bodies but move toward self-care and optimal quality.

Prepare your meals from a place of deep self-love. Choose foods that truly nourish you, both physically and emotionally. Make conscious choices, be self-aware, and develop a positive relationship with food. Choose the approach that resonates with you and supports your well-being!

Exercise is not just beneficial; it is essential for a longer, healthier life. Choosing to move increases our natural healing powers. It helps our bodies function at an optimal level. Lack of exercise has a negative effect on your body.

When we intentionally prioritize sleep, we practice what matters most regarding our bodies and minds. It’s not about perfection; it’s about creating a sleep sanctuary and listening to our inner cues. A well-rested mind and body contribute to well-being and wellness.

These three areas of intentional living profoundly affect our well-being and wellness. Balancing and developing a better lifestyle and habits can lead to weight loss, strength building, depression management, and stress reduction.

Dr. Attia’s book Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity is a manual for increasing your health and quality of life. A roadmap to changing habits that tear us down. How can we move from a life that may speed up disease to a life working toward longevity? It is about the quality of your years.

Intentional living extends to every aspect of our lives, including what we put on our plates, how much we move, and how well we sleep. Small changes add up to significant improvements in health and vitality. Live intentionally by nourishing your body through mindful eating, regular movement, and restful sleep!

Let’s Get Intentional!

Citations

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Flourishing: An Intentional Living Journey

Happy April! We made it through the winter. Now, it is time to ensure we are on our journey to flourishing. This month will be about intentional living; as we design the life we want; we must be mindful of how we live each day.

Being intentional means having the ability to see specific results in the future that, if you achieve them, will help you become the person you want to be. Intentional living is about being more deliberate with your day and activities.

Benefits of Intentional Living

Now, we focus on intentional living. Choosing intentional living is like planting seeds that will bloom in a beautiful array of colors. As you nurture plants and give them the care they require, they bloom. We need to be nurtured as well, and we are the ones who provide this self-care.

Some benefits of intentional living are:

Improved mental health
Better physical health
Healthy relationships
Clarity
Reduced psychological stress
You are aligned with your values
You are happier
Achieve your goals
Being present
Gratitude
Greater fulfillment and satisfaction
More control over your life

Sounds great! Sign me up.

Of course, there is a catch – you will most likely have to change your lifestyle and habits. The catch is you have to put time and effort into working toward these changes. Also, remember that change takes time. You will not do this overnight.

We are working toward eudaimonia, which is “human flourishing”; and a contented state of being happy, healthy, and prosperous.

So, are you flourishing? Let’s ask ourselves some questions.

Do you experience joy and contentment?
Are you immersed in activities that light you up?
Are your relationships deep and meaningful?
Does your life have purpose and meaning?
Are you achieving your goals?

We all want a life that is filled with contentment and purpose. If your answer to the questions above is no. Then you have a starting place. If your answer is yes to all of the above well, we all have room to grow.

Practical Steps to Intentional Living

Take an honest look at how you spend your time. Are your daily actions in line with your values? Start with identifying any disconnects or misalignments between daily actions and intentions.

Know what you want. Prioritize your top values; not all values are equal. Focus on the ones that are most important to your long-term goals.

Be deliberate with your day. Plan your time for the things that matter the most.

Revisit your list of goals regularly. Out of sight – out of mind. By visiting the list often, you are reaffirming your commitment. You can then refocus on your daily intentions.

Be authentic; don’t try to live someone else’s life. There is no right or wrong; you are the one designing the life you want.

Be present. Awareness of your daily choices is essential. We will be changing habits; some are deeply ingrained in our lives, and some are unconscious. Reaching for a candy bar without thinking. Remember that the inner voice is a guide, and you may need to teach this internal dialogue some new language. When I look at a piece of cake now, my inner voice tells me we do not eat cake. I used to grab a bit, a plate, without thinking. It was a journey to retrain myself, but the change has been so valuable in my health. My internal dialogue has been aligned with my deliberate objectives.

21 | John Maxwell – Intentional Living – YouTube

Make sure you set aside time for self-care, rest, and self-reflection. Slow down when it is needed. Take inventory of where you are and what you are doing at this moment.

Routine – A Crucial Role in International Living

Routines act as a framework in which purposeful actions are built. Routines can contribute to your plan in various ways.

Routines provide a sense of order and stability. They create a predictable framework for each day, and this reduces our stress and uncertainty. When we know what to expect, we can focus our intentions on planned choices.
Intentional routines allow us to align our actions with our core beliefs and values. By consciously designing our daily habits, we prioritize what truly matters.
Routines can streamline decision-making. So that we do not constantly evaluate each option, we follow an established pattern. This provides us with efficiency and focus.

Intention is not about rigidity; it is about purpose. By incorporating intentional routines into our lives, we cultivate well-being and productivity.

Conclusion

We all want to be the best version of ourselves. We want to live a life that is authentically ours. You design the life you want by the choices you make. This is where intentional living comes into the picture. Determine your identity and set a path to reaching that person.

There are believed to be three universal existential flouring cores. The first is love, nurture your relationships, and express affection; build those relationships. Learning is how we thrive, curiosity fuels growth. Read, explore, and expand your mind. The third core is playing. Playfulness is the substance of flourishing. Dance, laugh, create, and find your joy! Build these activities into your intentional plan of action.

Savor your experiences!

Be present in the moments

Slow down and enjoy life

Create rituals

Practice gratitude

Engage your senses, taste, touch, sight, and sound

Visualize your best self – then make that version of you a reality. You design the life you want by the choices you make.

Let’s get intentional!

Citations

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Designing the life, you want by the choices you make

We are not confined to a static state of being. Our life is not a fixed path; we define our lives by the choices we make. Imagine it: a vast expanse of opportunities stretching out before you. Each decision, no matter how insignificant, alters our trajectory. As the doors swing open or closed, we step into a new experience.

The act of making choices is a potent tool that allows you to assume responsibility and shape your future self. In this blog, we will dive into the art of life design. Approaching your life as a project, you can intentionally design the life you want.

Destiny by Design: Crafting Your Ideal Life Through Manifestation

Reviewing this blog over the past couple of months. The essays have been about taking control of your life, setting goals, defining your identity, and planning for the person you want to be tomorrow. As we move into April, the essays will move into intentional living, a purposeful approach to life, where your core beliefs and values guide every action and decision. It is about being present in each moment and making choices that align with your hopes, plans, and dreams. It is about a sense of purpose.

Designing the life you want includes taking care of yourself and making intentional life decisions with the goal of improvement. Intentional living is about your mind, body, and soul.

Take Responsibility – No Excuses

First, no excuses – we have a way of limiting ourselves from moving forward, so let’s take a stand right now. Put the past in the past, stop the negative feelings. Change your vocabulary to “I can” do this. We are all a work in progress, so let’s take the designer role and see what we have the power to change.

Rewrite Your Story. Embracing the Blank Page of Possibility!

What are your values?

What are your hopes, plans, and dreams?
What are your passions?
What brings joy to your life?
What would make your life more fulfilling?

Stop for a minute and think about this; I doubt that watching TV or scrolling social media will create life satisfaction. But what will?

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”
Socrates

Visualization

Visualization – Focus on Personal Growth

If you can see it, it becomes more real. Think about various life scenarios. Visualize different relationships, hobbies, and life goals. Let’s reach for the sky. Do not set limits. You can determine later if the goal is a pie-in-the-sky pipe dream. However, you could find completely doable scenarios. It never hurts to try.

Mind the Gap?

What is your dream? What is the gap to accomplishing this dream? How can you fill the gap? Maybe more education or practice.

Clearly articulate your problem statement. What do you want to improve or change? What do you need to get from point A to point B? Need more skills, take a class, volunteer, or learn from experimentation.

The Magic of Journaling – A Guide to Finding Clarity and Maintaining Focus.

Start Here – Foundational Goals

Choice to

Prioritize Health and well-being, exercise, nutrition, and sleep. A healthy body supports a healthy mind. Practice mindfulness, meditation, or stress management.

Financial literacy is essential. Understanding your finances and setting financial goals must be part of your plan. Your finances are the foundation for many other goals.

Do a life audit and assess your current situation. What aspects of your life are fulfilling, and what needs improvement?

Learn continuously, read widely, and explore books, articles, podcasts, and anything related to personal growth. Anything related to the goals in your life, growing your career, or building stronger relationships. Attend courses, workshops, and webinars. We are in an awesome age where knowledge is at our fingertips, 24/7.

How a Lifelong Learning Mindset Fuels Goal Achievement

Network and connect, surround yourself with supportive people. Join clubs, attend meetups, engage with others, and have conversations. Seek mentors who can guide you based on their experiences. A shared meal, a hug, or a good hearty laugh each adds strength to your life. Choose your relationships wisely; they are a vital foundation for a fulfilling life.

Have a Positive Mental Attitude, which means believing in yourself and your abilities. Set ambitious goals. You can overcome the challenges in your life, as your attitude can reframe the situation. Positivity is not just a mental state; it also affects physical health. Optimism has been linked to better health outcomes. You’ve got this! Choose to have a positive mental attitude.

What if? We Leap Beyond our Perceived Limits with a Positive Mental Attitude

Gratitude practice regularly. Gratitude helps us focus on the blessings we already have. It is an appreciation of the abundance of good things in our lives instead of focusing on what we lack.

We have 168 hours each week. Spend your time wisely. Balance different parts of your life, career, relationships, health, hobbies. We have limited time each week, so prioritize your time for the things that matter.

Choose to set clear goals: SMART Goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time bound. Break the goals down into doable steps. Incorporate a philosophy of continuous improvement incrementally.

Change takes time. Examine your habits, which are specific behaviors. Examine your lifestyle, which is your broader approach to life. Your lifestyle includes choices related to your job, relationships, self-care, and leisure pursuits. Your lifestyle is who you are!

Life is Messy

The best-laid plans can change anytime, embrace adaptability, and make changes as needed. I had 15 years of crippling illness. My life goals had to change for me to function, continue to improve, and work toward my goals. There are things we cannot control. Focus on what you can control. We all face good and bad days. Life is like a roller coaster. Sometimes, we are on the way up, and everything is wonderful; the birth of a child, obtaining a college degree, and finding true love. Yet, at other times, we take dips, illness, death, and job loss. The rest is somewhere in the middle. If you know who you are and what you want in life, you can build the resilience needed to keep moving toward your dreams.

Be open-minded. Again, we often build brick walls in front of our goals or let the dips in life derail our goals. Let’s get around those walls, climb over, and dig under them; persistence and determination will take you a long way.

Conclusion

It is about quality of life. It is about taking control of your life and planning for continuous improvement. Designing your life is an ongoing process.

“Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.”
John Maxwell

Growth is Intentional!

Dream Big, using the mental sketchbook in your mind to make a plan. Always remember the choices we make design our lives. Make good choices, ones that lead you to the you – you want to be tomorrow.

Start designing the life you want. Start Now!

What if – I wake up with a positive mental attitude
What if I believed in myself and my dreams
What if I keep moving forward

It is about thriving and not just surviving. You have the power to improve your life, to find happiness and joy. Join me during the month of April to work on your intentional living plan.

Recommend Reading

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The Magic of Journaling – A Guide to Finding Clarity and Maintaining Focus

Reaching your goals in life takes work, self-reflection, focus, and clarity. We will discuss multiple benefits of journaling that can improve your chances of success.

A personal journal is an ideal environment in which to "become." It is a perfect place for you to think, feel, discover, expand, remember, and dream." - Brad Wilcox

Keeping a journal is a method of self-discovery. It can be transformative as you tap into self-expression and reflection. These are not just words on paper; they are spaces for introspection.

Examining our thoughts, feelings, and motivations to gain self-awareness or understanding. It goes beyond observation; it involves deep self-questioning and self-evaluation. Then, again, it can be about writing a task list or planning your day or week.

The beauty of journals is that they are simple and cost little money. All you need is paper and a pen. There are no rules. Journaling provides us with a dedicated space for reflection and introspection. In the constant stream of information and stimuli, we are washed with daily noise; taking a moment to sit down with pen and paper (or a digital journal) allows us to pause, gather our thoughts, and make sense of our experiences. This reflective pause is crucial for gaining clarity about our emotions, thoughts, and goals.

“A journal can offer you a place to be someone, anyone, who you want to be.”
Brian Ledger

Why Journaling Matters?

"Writing in a journal each day allows you to direct your focus to what you accomplished, what you're grateful for and what you're committed to doing better tomorrow. Thus, you more deeply enjoy your journey each day." - Hal Elrod

Journaling is a powerful tool for anyone seeking a calmer, more focused mind. It can help you externalize your thoughts, process your emotions, and help solve problems. It can also be used to set and monitor your goals.

Here are some benefits of journaling.

Mental Health Benefits

Writing can reduce stress.
Enhances resilience, building mental agility by putting your words to paper.
Writing can provide an emotional release, a safe outlet for our emotions, whether joy, anger, or sadness. It helps us process our emotions for clearer thinking.
Declutter our minds; our brains are overwhelmed with thoughts, worries, and to-do lists. The clutter makes it hard to think and be productive.
Sharpening your focus is one of the cognitive benefits of journaling. It helps you gain clarity through reflection, externalizing your thoughts,
Writing helps you uncover aspects of your life that you may not be aware of or need more understanding.
Putting it on paper helps you be present in the moment. Mindfulness benefits, such as staying grounded in reality and becoming more attuned to our values, strengths, and areas where we need improvement.
Goal clarity and progress tracking are assisted by writing our hopes, plans, and dreams, and they give us a roadmap that can help us focus and motivate us.
A reflective pause in a busy world, enhancing self-awareness and mindfulness,
Writing about what we are grateful for, we capture moments of awe, appreciation, and positivity. This positivity boosts our mood and enhances our ability to stay focused on what truly matters.

“All the noise in my brain. I clamp it to the page so it will be still.”
Barbara Kingsolver

How to Start Journaling

Find the format that works for you, pen and paper or a digital journal.

It does not have to take long, 10-15 minutes daily. After you write often, it will become a habit.

Consistency is the key. Make it a daily ritual.

The style can be freewriting, a bullet list, or strategic planning; it can be doodles, brainstorming, images, or if you find an idea in a magazine, you can cut and paste an item into your journal to prompt your memory.

What to write about. Use question prompts, then answer them.

What are my strengths? Who do I want to be tomorrow? What gaps do I have between where I am now and reaching my goals?
Write about things you enjoy, nature, your pet, passions, or hobbies
Write about things you would like to change in your life
New things you would like to do or learn
Bucket list, what would you like to do throughout your life
Goals or accomplishments
Gratitude list
Doodles, art ideas, song ideas, poetry – write about what is important to you
Write freely; do not censor your thoughts; let them flow naturally. You can come back later if it needs to be organized or formalized. For now, you want to capture your ideas, thoughts, and feelings.

I am task-oriented, so part of my journal is planning what I will do today and next week and some life plans. My journals resulted in my writing my book “Resolutions: Life Planning Tools.” I started journaling in 1972. As a young girl, I called them diaries. They were filled with Danny, my true love, and how I felt about my parents, school, and teenage life.

As I moved through the years, the journals became a place to think about life and some deep philosophical questions. Who am I? Who do I want to be? The journals moved to strategic planning and a mental picture of what was inside me. A picture on which I could later reflect. I still write daily, usually about my goals and projects, relationships, emotions, joys, and passions. My journals ground me, give me perspective, and are a historical account of who I am, my flaws, my feelings, and my relationships; they reflect everything I am today.

I prefer a free system that lets ideas run out on paper without worrying about grammar or structure. My focus is to capture ideas. I can clean it up later and separate ideas into different folders. For the important stuff, I can then move it to a place where I can work on it. It is not just a brain dump; journaling helps you to organize tasks and prioritize effectively, and gratitude journaling can shift your mindset to a more positive focused place.

“Your journal will stand as a chronicle of your growth, your hopes, your fears, your dreams, your ambitions, your sorrows, your serendipities.”
Kathleen Adams

How Journaling Helps You

Externalize your thoughts, where you can see them, and give them a life with some perspective.
Thought detox. Keeping a journal can help you sort and clean the clutter from your brain. By moving ideas and feelings to paper, you are moving them out of your head – think of it as a filing system. Then, you can work on the ideas later.
Problem-solving; a problem setting somewhere in your mind – and then, Aha, you see the path you need to take, how to solve the problem, put the puzzle together, and organize that project.
Release your creativity and find a place to keep your ideas. Many of our ideas are like butterflies, here one moment and gone forever. Don’t let those creative images fly away. Artists, songwriters, builders, and poets all need a creative outlet and a place to capture the ideas we generate.

Conclusion

Journaling provides a place to analyze what is in your head and look at these ideas and feelings from different angles. It can become a guide to mental well-being and personal growth. During introspection, we explore our inner mental states. It can be a place to be honest, vulnerable, and creative.

Journaling is practice, not perfection. There is no right or wrong way to write a journal. It is a powerful tool that can lead to finding clarity and maintaining focus in our chaotic lives. You will develop a space to process emotions, clarify your goals, and enhance your self-awareness. You are creating a space that guides you toward intentional living and life satisfaction. Reaching for our highest potential.

Use your journal for whatever you feel you need to write. It will become a habit. Journaling can be a fantastic tool to set goals and plan how to achieve them. Writing your aspirations makes them more concrete and helps you visualize success. You can then break down your goals into smaller, actionable steps, creating a clear roadmap for moving forward. This focus and direction will prevent you from getting sidetracked by distractions.

My journals have helped me discover deep patterns in myself, see strengths and weaknesses, and watch early goals become a reality. I take a morning walk with my dog at sunrise every day. My mind is relaxed during the walks and not necessarily focused on anything. I let myself hear the sounds of the birds singing and the wind in the trees; I enjoy the sunrise and the changes in the seasons.

In this relaxed state, I do my best thinking – when I am not focused on a specific topic – ideas come flowing. I can only keep three complex concepts in my head at the same time, so I let myself flow, and then I go home and write the ideas in my journal. I am marketing a published book, writing the next book, and working on an immersive multimedia art show business plan. I work full-time and sometimes ideas come, or problems are solved without effort; I need to capture them.

So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed and unfocused, try journaling. It might just be the missing piece to achieve a calmer, more transparent, and more focused you.

Make it a habit!

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The Power of Authenticity – Becoming Your True Self

In a world that often encourages conformity and fitting into societal norms, the concept of authenticity stands out as a sign of self-expression and genuine connection. Authenticity is more than just being true to oneself; it’s about embracing your unique qualities, values, and beliefs without fear or hesitation. In this blog, we will explore the importance of authenticity and how it can lead to a more fulfilling life.

One of the biggest obstacles to authenticity is the fear of judgment or rejection. Many people hold back from being authentic because they worry about how others perceive them. However, it’s important to remember that true authenticity requires courage and vulnerability.

Authenticity is about being true to yourself. Well, what does that really mean? Authenticity is a lifelong journey. It’s not about reaching a destination; but about embracing your path.

We strive to be authentic because it aligns with who we truly are. Yet, we worry about what others will think. Will we be accepted? My grandmother used to say that no matter what you do, some people will like you, and others will not. You cannot please everyone. Let’s put this into perspective: the alternative is to be a phony.

Well, this brings a lot of questions to mind. Who am I? What if others perceive my true self differently? Good question: it is possible; that they may not know our depths, even those closest to us. But this is a personal journey, not a collaborative process. Authenticity is not always straightforward. It is about aligning our goals and values. Again, who am I? We should know this, but it is a learning experience. It takes some longer to answer this question.

Overcoming the Fear of Judgment

Self-acceptance is a vital aspect of our well-being and personal and professional growth. Accepting yourself gives you clarity, allows you to see situations objectively, and helps reduce the impact of harsh criticism; from yourself or others.

Overcoming the fear of being yourself can be challenging. Understanding fear is vital. Where is it coming from? Have past experiences shaped the fear?

We often build these walls around ourselves with negative thinking. We imagine scenarios where we are rejected. I am not naïve enough to believe all the fears are unjustified. Some individuals face societal judgment because of their sexual orientation, the color of their skin, or religious choices. Causing people to hide, only showing a version of themselves that sacrifices authenticity. I do not have the answers, but I know living your real life is essential to your well-being. You have to make your own decisions, but not living your authentic life stunts your personal growth. Surround yourself with positive influencers, someone who has overcome their fear, and see what results they have had in their life.

The Power of Authenticity

Accepting our authentic selves lets us live our true selves; it liberates us from the mask. It is not a fixed state; we change throughout our lives as we become more self-aware and define our identity, passions, hopes, plans, and dreams. We are a work in progress.

We crave authenticity in others; look at the main characters in books, movies, and TV stories. Showing their flaws helps us connect with the struggles and vulnerabilities they have. The power of authenticity is vital in relationships. If people see themselves reflected in your imperfections, they are more likely to connect. You open yourself up to genuine connections when you share your true self. Sometimes in life, we feel we need to hide our true selves, so we put on a mask to fit in. But this is exhausting.

Look at celebrities. We love people’s weird hobbies and personal style of dressing. Why can’t we accept them in ourselves?

Authenticity: don’t just be yourself, make the most of yourself, by John Tomlinson

Examples of Authenticity

Authentic people:

Are self-aware, recognizing their feelings and emotions
Accept themselves as they are; authenticity is about embracing yourself, flaws, and all
Willing to show their vulnerabilities
Being present in the moment, fully embracing life as it is
Authentic individuals express themselves with comfort and genuineness. They do not hide their true thoughts and feelings
Generally, they are fueled by passion and purpose; they have a clear vision for their life
They keep their promises
These individuals follow their intuition and inner voice
Make decisions aligned with their authentic self
They value and respect others and appreciate their uniqueness
Treat others with kindness and empathy

How to Embrace Your Authentic Self

Get to know yourself deeply through self-reflection, looking at your core values, beliefs, personality traits, strengths, weaknesses, and passions. What truly matters? You will only know what your authentic self is if you define it.

Practice self-acceptance. Working on compassion for yourself and eliminating the negative inner dialogue.

Show your vulnerabilities and share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences with others. Do not be afraid to be vulnerable.

Be honest with yourself; don’t live in denial or delusion. Don’t be phony or a version of someone else. Check in to make sure your internal compass aligns with reality.

Be comfortable with imperfection. No one is perfect. Accept your quirks and mistakes. We are each a work in progress. Do better tomorrow!

Let go of approval seeking. Authenticity means being true to yourself, regardless of external validation. We do not have to constantly get approval from others. Trust your intuition and gut feelings.

“I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine.”
Frederick (Fritz) Pearls

Find your voice! Express your true self, speak your mind respectfully, dress in a way that feels like you, and engage in meaningful activities.

Connect with your tribes and like-minded people. Hang with people who accept you for who you are. When we find a supportive environment of authenticity, we can flourish.

Celebrate your uniqueness. You are an original.

Live your values. This is your core.

Journaling is an excellent way to learn more about ourselves and explore our feelings. Keep a journal. A journal becomes a history of your thoughts, plans, and actions. Reading past entries can give you a different perspective. As I explore my journals, I am fascinated by days of clarity, introspection, and new things I discover about who I am. Writing gives you perspective and can be a way of communicating with yourself over time and space.

Set boundaries and say no to things that compromise your authenticity. Do not allow yourself to be inauthentic to please others.

Conclusion

Find your voice. Who are you?

Live by your values. Identify the fundamental principles you want to live by, then commit to upholding them, even when uncomfortable or unpopular.

The truer you are to yourself, the more you will have the freedom to seek personal and professional growth. To avoid getting stuck with limitations.

If you are not seeking authenticity, who are you? How much effort does it take to be someone you are not? Is it worth it – are those the friends you want, or the job you want?

The journey won’t be easy, but striving to live authentically allows you to develop deeper self-respect and intimacy in your relationships. Start peeling back the inauthentic layers and flourishing as yourself.

Embracing authenticity is a powerful process of self-discovery, self-expression, and self-empowerment. By being true to yourself and living in alignment with your values, you pave the way for a life filled with genuine connections, meaningful experiences, and true fulfillment. Dare to be authentic and watch as your life transforms in beautiful and unexpected ways.

Recommend Reading

Twelve examples of authenticity: What being authentic looks like, by Wisdom Stirring

17 Examples of Authenticity, by PEX Career Development

13 authenticity examples to improve professional development, by Indeed Editorial Team

50 Authenticity Examples, by Chris Drew

How to Discover Your Authentic Self – at Any Age, by Bevy Smith (TED)

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Harnessing Your Inner Voice: The Secret Weapon for Achieving Your Goals

Have you ever had a gut feeling that guided you in the right direction? That inner voice, often referred to as intuition or instinct, can be a powerful tool in achieving your goals. This blog will explore the importance of listening to your inner voice and how it can help you navigate challenges, make decisions, and achieve your goals.

The voice you know in your head. The one that whispers or shouts encouragement or doubt in your ears. Our inner voice is our constant companion. This internal monologue shapes our perceptions, influences our decisions, and affects our actions. We will examine how to take control of this voice to achieve goals and reach your fullest potential.

Why does our inner voice matter? Our inner voice is like a narrator, constantly shaping how we see ourselves. It combines conscious thoughts and unconscious beliefs. When the voice is positive, it calms us and gives us confidence. When the voice is negative, it can convince us we are not good enough, tearing down our self-esteem.

Understanding Self-Talk

Your inner voice is your internal compass, providing insights, feelings, and thoughts that can guide you in various aspects of life. That quiet, often overlooked voice speaks to you when you’re faced with choices or challenges. However, it can become our biggest cheerleader, providing encouragement and motivation. Recognizing and trusting your inner voice is critical to using its power.

In science, it is referred to as inner speech or private speech. Inner speech relates to conversations we hold with ourselves in our minds. This voice makes plans, replays conversations, and processes emotions. Inner speech may even play out scenarios of discussions with others we want to have, trying to determine a path.

Private speech is similar but audible; it is when we talk to ourselves out loud. However, it is not meant for anyone else to hear. A common practice for small children, but many adults can do it too. I am one of those adults; it helps me to talk out loud to organize my thoughts and emotions and vent those emotions.

Neuroscientists explain how positive self-talk influences brain connectivity in the reward-motivation network. Negative self-talk alters connectivity in various ways. It can rewire the brain and can lead to anxiety. It is about how we see ourselves.

Create psychological distance. Studies show that talking to oneself in the third person can aid self-control. When talking to yourself by name or pronoun “she” or “he” creates a sense of detachment. Like you are looking at yourself from the outside. Creating this distance can help you gain control, calmness, and an objective view of the situation. It can reduce the emotional intensity, which often overwhelms us. Instead of saying, “I cannot do this,” try saying, “I can do this.”

Negative self-talk often involves cognitive distortions—irrational or exaggerated thoughts that color our perception of reality. Common distortions include catastrophizing, black-and-white thinking, and personalization. These distortions can lead to anxiety, depression, and feelings of helplessness.

Negative Self-Talk and Harmful Effects on Mental Health

Negative self-talk can have an impact on mood and emotions and contribute to low self-esteem and persistent sadness. It can amplify feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. In the long run, this can lead to chronic stress. Negative self-talk affects our mental well-being.

Negative self-talk can show up as physical symptoms. Increased cortisol levels (the stress hormone) because of chronic negativity may affect immune function, sleep, and overall health, causing physical illness.

Harnessing Your Inner Voice

Identify your inner voice. Each of us has a different experience with our inner voice; for some, it is a constant voice, while others may only hear it occasionally. There is also a range of how verbal the voice is; for some, it is similar to hearing themselves speak silently, and others think more in images or concepts. I am an artist, and I often think in images. So, first, try to identify your inner voice.

Silence the negative voice the doubter and amplify the positive voice and embrace this power.

Awareness is a significant step toward change. Become aware of your self-talk and pay attention to these thoughts. Catch the negative thoughts and redirect them. Start by paying attention to your inner voice.

Note your self-talk patterns when you are being self-critical, judgmental, or hostile towards yourself. Pay attention to the words you use and the tone of your inner dialogue. Again, becoming aware of how your self-dialogue works.

Reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and reactions in different situations. Journaling can be a helpful practice in exploring your inner dialogue and finding recurring themes or patterns. Try journaling using various techniques, such as a free flow of thoughts, or on the opposite side, write some highly focused entries on a specific topic.

It is essential to differentiate between your intuition and fear-based thoughts. Intuition feels calm, clear, and aligned with your values and goals. Fear often appears as doubt, anxiety, or hesitation. Pay attention to the quality of your inner voice to recognize whether it is guiding you from a place of intuition or fear.

Focus on the present moment, leave the past in the past, and stop worrying about the future. We can plan for the future, but it is built in the present.

“The past is already gone, the future in not yet here. There’s only one moment for you to live, and that is the present moment.”
Buddha

Take Control – Develop a Toolbox for Change

Reframing negative thoughts and cognitive distortions which are irrational thought patterns, such as all-or-nothing thinking, assuming the worst potential outcomes, or blaming yourself for everything.

Evidence-based thinking: Seek evidence for or against your negative thoughts. Often, we assume the worst with no actual proof; we guess or go off of something we have seen on Facebook or TV (not necessarily reliable sources). We live in a time that we have the world at our fingertips. You can research, google it, or read articles on science-based websites or books by experts in their fields. Ask yourself, “What evidence supports this thought? What evidence contradicts it?”

Challenge negative thoughts by using affirmations and positive statements you repeat to yourself for encouragement. They are a way to challenge negative thoughts. Refocus your thoughts on the positive lane, “I am confident,” “I can do this,” and “I am capable and worthy.” Constantly restating affirmations can rewire your neural pathways and train your brain to focus on the positive.

Challenge perfectionism: Avoid setting unrealistic standards for yourself. Perfect does not exist. Imperfections are a part of the learning and growth process. Strive for progress, not perfection.

Self-fulfilling prophecy: When we repeatedly tell ourselves negative things (e.g., “I’m worthless” or “I always fail”), we create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Our beliefs influence our behavior, affecting our actions and outcomes. Negative self-talk can perpetuate a cycle of failure and reinforce negative emotions.

Practice self-compassion and treat yourself as you would a friend.

“Talk to yourself as you would someone you love.”
Brene Brown

Challenge your core beliefs. Core beliefs are deeply ingrained assumptions about yourself and the world. Question these beliefs. Are they helping or hindering you? Then, replace limiting beliefs with empowering ones.

Surround yourself with positive, uplifting influences, friends, inspiring books, or motivational material such as podcasts, and webinars; remember, we have the world of knowledge at our fingertips. Use your computer for self-improvement.

Conclusion

Become aware of and listen to your inner dialogue. Self-talk is not idle chatter; it shapes our thoughts, emotions, and actions. Changing your negative self-talk is a powerful step toward personal growth and well-being. Your inner voice is a powerful force.

Changing self-talk takes time and practice, so be patient and gentle. Consistency and self-compassion are vital to promoting a positive and empowering internal voice. The change involves shifting your internal dialogue from negative to positive and self-empowering talk.

Reasons to practice positive self-talk.

Build self-confidence
Improves prospective
Improve attitude
Helps cope with stress
Encourages motivation
Helps work through challenges
You have the power to shape your inner dialogue. Be patient with yourself, practice self-compassion, and celebrate small victories along the way.

Your inner voice is a powerful tool that can be used to pursue your hopes, plans, and dreams. By taking control of the power of your inner voice, you can transform self-doubt into a firm belief and turn your goals from distant dreams into reality.

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How to be a Better Person by Setting Personal Standards

Being a “better person” can feel like a big goal. But the truth is, you can reach such a goal by setting goals and taking small steps. We have the power to change our habits and lifestyles to become a better person. First, you must define what being a better person means to you. There is no one-size-fits-all-all, no templates. This is a personal journey. You first need to identify your strengths, which could be anything from creativity to empathy, and build from this foundation.

"There is always room to be a better person. Always."
- Sonya Teclai

Visualize the future you; who do you want to become? This is the person you will establish standards for, creating guidelines for your actions and reactions. Becoming a better person is a noble pursuit that involves self-reflection, growth, and intentional actions.

Personal Standards

Personal standards are the rules and guidelines we set for ourselves in various aspects of life. These standards help shape our behavior, decision-making, and interactions with others. Personal standards in our activities, thoughts, and behaviors that we consider helpful or acceptable. These standards reflect how we treat ourselves and how we interact with others. They also provide a guide for the people we allow into our lives.

“Surround yourself with positive people who will make you a better person.”
Roy T. Bennett

We define ourselves by the choices we make. Setting clearly defined social and personal life standards is crucial to finding life satisfaction and reaching our highest potential. Developing personal standards can contribute to a strong sense of self-identity, which is linked to achieving goals and having healthier relationships. Personal standards can contribute to mental, emotional, social, and physical well-being.

Personal standards may also be known as a credo, which is a guiding belief or principle that strongly influences the way a person lives or works. The word credo originates from Latin, meaning “I believe.” A credo represents our core convictions and shapes our actions and decisions throughout life.

My Credo

Face your demons
Be Yourself – Always
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY – ZERO EXCUSES
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you
Respect others
Everyone has wonderful qualities – look for them in each person
Stay on the side of the law
Never Say Can’t – Always Try (lesson learned from sixth-grade teacher Mr. Price)
It never hurts to ask
Get as much education as you can – education cannot be taken away from you!
Read every day
Write every day
Tell the people you love – that you love them
Don’t keep secrets – don’t hide aspects of yourself
Your attitude defines your day
We define ourselves by the choices we make
Qualities I seek in myself

Honesty – Integrity – Loyalty – Humility – Temperance (practicing self-control, moderation, and restraint) – Kindness – Compassion – Open-Mindedness – Wisdom – Creativity – Optimism – Tranquility

“The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater his success, his influence, his power for good. Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom.”
James Allen

Virtues

Virtues are traits of excellence that encompass various aspects of our lives. These qualities can be moral, social, or intellectual. A good person often has certain habits and may be considerate, kind, and one who avoids harming others. This is not about how others define you, but how you define yourself. Others will see your virtues through your actions and behaviors.

Virtues are about moral excellence and our character. They emphasize living well by embracing virtuous qualities. We are not born with virtues; they are habits and mindsets that we cultivate through conscious effort. Since they are habits, we may have picked up our virtues by watching those around us, family, and friends. So, again, surrounding yourself with positive people will influence you and help make you a better person.

The opposite of a virtue is vice, which is habitual wrongdoing. We need to identify these vices, as this is where we need to work to improve ourselves. There are no standards for virtues; they are choices. Virtues are culturally relevant, meaning they can vary from culture to culture. What do you feel is important? Who do you want to be?

Virtues are developed through learning and practice. Knowing what’s right is not enough; just like any skill, being virtuous requires consistent effort. Aristotle believed self-discipline was key and that repeatedly practicing self-control strengthens our ability to resist temptation (vices) and make virtuous choices. Bad habits weaken our resolve and make it harder to act with integrity.

Balance is something we should strive for in establishing personal standards and virtues. If your standards are too high, they can become demotivating. However, if you set them too low, you will not be pushed to grow or improve. Also, focusing too much on one virtue can create an imbalance in your life. For example, being assertive is a virtue, but what happens to kindness if you are only assertive?

Balancing your standards and virtues is more sustainable in the long run. You will be less likely to burn out or feel overwhelmed. Life is messy, but balanced standards and virtues allow you to adapt to changing situations while staying true to your core values.

How Do We Set Goals to Become a Better Person?

A good starting place is to identify who you are and who you want to be. Then, identify your weaknesses. Building virtues takes dedication and perseverance. Set goals and make a plan.

Here are a few ideas:

Acts of kindness and altruism contribute to personal growth. Small gestures can make a big difference in someone’s life. Express appreciation, say a kind word, or sit with them when they need your support. Compliment others, as this simple act can brighten their day.

Volunteering is a great way to give back.

Always be respectful.

“Show respect even to people who don’t even deserve it; not as a reflection of their character, but as a reflection of yours.”
Dave Wilis

Become a better listener.

Practice empathy and try to understand their feelings.

Think before you speak, consider the impact of your words before saying something to others, and try to see things from their perspective.

Become a role model.

Find a Role Model

In the last blog, I talked about role models and how some people set standards for how they live their lives. I want to revisit this topic.

We can find role models in many ways; the simple act of reading books can connect you to how others live their lives. Role models can be in your family or inner circle, a boss, a teacher, or a world leader.

Role models set standards of excellence that we can incorporate into our lives. Benjamin Franklin is one of my role models; 13 virtues were his standard: Temperance, Silence, Order, Resolution, Frugality, Industry, Sincerity, Justice, Moderation, Cleanliness, Tranquility, Chastity, and Humility.

Ben Franklin’s 13 Virtues path to personal perfection, by David G. Allan

A few historic role models are Mahatma Gandhi, Albert Einstein, Marie Curie, Nelson Mandela, Leonardo da Vinci, Jesus Christ, and Rosa Parks. There are many others, but we know of these people’s stories; they set excellent standards for themselves. Read about their lives and their choices for inspiration.

Conclusion

On the journey of life, the pursuit of becoming a better person is a noble endeavor. It involves introspection, self-awareness, and a commitment to continual growth. While the path may seem difficult at times, there are steps you can take to cultivate virtues, develop positive habits, and make meaningful contributions to the world around you. Personal standards serve as a compass, guiding your behavior and shaping your life.

Balance is a dynamic process. What works today might need adjustments in the future. The key is to be mindful, self-aware, and willing to adapt as you grow and learn. Change takes time and may not happen overnight. Make a plan and keep working on it until you become the person of your dreams.

By incorporating these ideas into your daily life, you will be on your way to becoming the best version of yourself. The journey of self-growth is rewarding, and every step you take brings you closer to a more fulfilling life.

We live in a complex jungle of modern civilization, where ideas and information are a Google away. However, virtue is a concept used by Stoics, who were members of the ancient philosophical school, a school of philosophical thought.

According to Wikipedia, the Stoics identified the path to achieving a life spent practicing virtues in everyday life: wisdom, courage, temperance or moderation, justice, and living in accordance with nature. It was founded in the ancient Agora of Athens by Zeno of Citium, around 300 BC.

We show high moral standards when we do what is right.

Citations

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

What happens when you share your goals? Can other people help?

In my book Resolutions Life Planning Tools, I suggest when writing goals; you make them for your eyes only. This is because when others see what you write, you tend to write for them. Your goals are your personal plans for achievement; sharing before they are defined can lead to others making decisions about your life script. However, once you are working on your life plan, there are several ways to engage with others to help you achieve your goals.

After establishing your goals, sharing them with others can help you succeed in several ways. I will discuss the pros and cons of sharing your goals and some ways you might go about sharing.

Increased Accountability

Sharing your goals with someone can create a sense of being answerable to them and not wanting to disappoint them. You feel more committed to achieving your dreams and aspirations when you tell someone about them. Working with others promotes creativity and productivity. You can discuss your goals, brainstorm, and share ideas on the best strategies to achieve your goals.

When you share your goals with someone you respect or consider a higher status, you become more motivated and less likely to quit. Focus on progress and keep the person you share your goals with updated on your progress. This keeps you accountable and allows them to offer specific encouragement.

“Accountability is the Glue that ties Commitment to Results.”
Bob Proctor

Support and Encouragement

Other people can become your cheerleader and help you stay positive. Sharing your goals can encourage you during tough times. Talking it through.

Sharing your goals with others allows them to offer support and encouragement along the way. The support could be words of encouragement, practical advice, or help in overcoming obstacles. Having a support system can make the journey towards your goals easier and more enjoyable. When family, friends, or a partner provides support, they celebrate your successes. Enhancing your feeling of accomplishment. It is a big deal!

If you share with someone more successful or respected, it can boost your commitment. An example would be talking about your goals with a mentor or manager, which could be beneficial in several ways.

You want to be careful. This could backfire if you are overly focused on impressing that person. You are looking for support, not a codependent relationship.

Feedback

We each have unique life experiences; another person can lend a different perspective. This advice could help us navigate the roadblocks and find better strategies if the person you share your goals with has experience and achieved a similar goal.

Constructive feedback from family or supervisors can help you improve. We often cannot see the barrier we place ourselves; others may identify things we do not see in our lives. By providing feedback, they can highlight your blind spots.

Humble acceptance of criticism gracefully allows you to evolve personally and professionally. Refrain from overreacting to hearing feedback you were not expecting. The feedback is to help guide you on the right path to your goal. Others may offer insights or suggestions you had not imagined, which can help you reframe your strategies.

Finding a Buddy for Personal Goals

If you share your goals, you may find someone who has the same goal. A buddy system can create a sense of partnership. You can hold each other accountable and provide support for each other. An example would be walking daily. If you have a walking buddy, this is an added motivational tool. Together, you can achieve a similar goal. This can be used to change your eating habits, maybe by learning to cook healthy foods as a team.

Or a Mentor for Professional Goals

Finding a mentor or manager to share your career goals with can be valuable in your professional development. Define what you hope to learn from a mentor. Outline specific goals you have set for your professional growth.

Having a mentor can accelerate your professional growth. They provide guidance, share experiences, and help you navigate challenges. Interacting with diverse people exposes you to new perspectives, skills, and knowledge. Be patient, build genuine connections, and be open to learning from those who have walked the path you aspire to follow.

You can find mentors anywhere; you just need to ask!

At your job
Reconnect with former colleagues or bosses
Explore industry-specific platforms
Attend conferences, workshops, or seminars
Connect with professionals who inspire you, perhaps via LinkedIn
Investigate formal mentorship programs

How to Find a Mentor in 8 Steps (Plus Mentorship Tips)

Networking is an excellent way to find a mentor. You can also make new connections; it introduces you to new opportunities, potential clients, and collaborators. Attending industry events, joining online communities, and building relationships.

Choose Carefully

You want to make sure the person you share your goals with is trustworthy, supportive, and will be happy for you when you succeed. Be careful about sharing goals with suppressive or competitive people. Their pressure can hinder your progress, and some may even work against you. Jealousy and envy have no room in this process; you may find that sometimes people do not want to see you succeed. Avoid negative influences from those who consistently doubt or undermine your goals. Do they believe in you?

Role Models

Another source of inspiration and motivation is observing others’ achievements and success. You can envision what is possible for yourself and feel inspired to pursue your own goals with enthusiasm. Role models do not have to be a person in your life; you may follow a famous person or find inspiration from people around you, people you admire.

Role models may embody qualities and traits we admire and aspire to reach. By studying their behavior, strategies, and decision-making processes, we can learn lessons and gain insights into our path to success.

So, again, role models do not have to be someone before you; we get inspiration and guidance from many sources. I am an avid reader and seek wisdom and guidance from books.

Ben Franklin’s 13 Virtues path to personal perfection, by David G. Allan

Einstein is another role model of mine. Einstein’s 7 rules included putting effort into the things that matter, doing things you love, even if you’re terrible at them, having a puzzle mindset, and thinking deeply.

Einstein’s 7 rules for a better life.

Role models can also demonstrate positive behaviors and attitudes that contribute to success. Watching how they approach their goals teaches us valuable lessons about hard work and ethical conduct in achieving our aspirations.

Conclusion

Remember that meaningful connections with others contribute to a fulfilling life. Be open, compassionate, and willing to give as well as receive. Setting goals and sharing them with others can increase motivation, accountability, support, and perspective, ultimately leading to a greater likelihood of success in achieving your goals.

Role models and mentors serve as powerful sources of inspiration, guidance, and encouragement on our journeys toward achieving our goals. By learning from their experiences and emulating their positive qualities and behaviors, we can enhance our chances of success and fulfillment in life. Role models come in many sizes and forms, such as the President of your university or an iconic historical character like Benjamin Franklin. The question you want to ask yourself is: Does that person have the knowledge or skills to help you fulfill your dream?

As with any endeavor, sharing your goals has pros and cons. You need to carefully choose who you share your goals with and be able to accept their guidance. Not everyone has your best interest in mind; watch for toxic people.

Are You Letting Other People’s Opinions Stop You From Your Goals? by Bradley Pierce.

Sharing your goals can provide social support, feedback, and vision validation. But don’t get over-focused on others; sharing can be good. In the end, it is up to you to achieve your goals.

Citations

Photo by Mitchell Schwartz on Unsplash

Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash

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